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Journal Exercises - Dialogue TechniqueExamples of Dialogue Technique

 

“Poor” Dialogue Technique

Question:
How do I feel when you don’t listen to me?

 

Chris:

I really don’t want to do this question, but I guess I have to.
I don’t know what I can say here so you won’t get mad at me, because you never listen when I am talking to you. You are always busy watching television or you are talking on the phone. My parents always listened to each other because they really cared about each other.

Now I have to say how I feel telling you this. I guess I feel okay because you should know these things, and we’re supposed to be able to say whatever we want in dialogue.
You’ll probably get mad at me, but there it is!. I hope you can accept this.
Pat

“Good” Dialogue Technique

Question:
How do I feel when we are open in our communication?

Dearest Chris,
Thank you for your help around the house lately. I really appreciate all that you do.

I feel close, loved and hopeful when we are open in our communication.

My strongest feeling right now is hopeful, my heart is racing a little faster than usual, and a smile is on my face (Physical sensations). The intensity of my hopeful feeling is an 8 (Intensity). My hopeful feeling is like seeing the beautiful colors of a rainbow after a storm is over (Color). Hopeful, like a child waiting to open her birthday presents, wondering if she got the special gift she asked for (Image). When I feel hopeful I tell myself such things as, “I love my husband. He’s my one and only” (Inner conversation). The behavior that I tend to act out when I feel hopeful is making you your favorite dinner (Behavior) and the words that want to come out of my mouth are, “I love you” (Words) I feel hopeful, like I remember feeling when we marched in parades and then afterwards waiting to hear if we had won first prize (Memory). Another time I felt this same feeling was after the six week stay our nephew Ricky had with us. Remember how we disciplined, taught, and treated Ricky just like our own children. After a few weeks, we started to see signs that he was beginning to listen to us and was interacting better with our kids and even talking better. He would smile and play, which wasn’t like him. My hopeful feeling is how I felt thinking we had given him a few weeks of a different life (Past shared experience).

All My Love,
Pat

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Go to the next journaling exercise: Effective Listening Scale

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*Journaling exercises written by Cort Curtis, Ph.D, used with permission.