5 Ways Marriage Counseling Can Help Your Relationship
Just like a therapist can help you even if you don’t think you need help, whether you think your relationship is on the rocks, just going through a rocky patch, or that the sailing has been pretty smooth, marriage counseling can help your relationship. Therapy and counseling are out there to help you understand your underlying motivations for why you do what you do. When you have a better understanding of yourself, you can live a more personally fulfilling life and improve your relationships with those around you. You’ll notice an improvement in your overall sense of well being.
Marriage counseling can help you see things objectively
In fact, William Doherty, University of Minnesota Professor of Social Science reports that studies have shown marriage counseling is successful 70-80% of the time. Even when we think we know ourselves pretty well, we actually don’t. It’s very hard to see ourselves and our relationships objectively. Think about the last time you had a disagreement with your loved one. Was it a challenge to try to see things from his perspective? And if you’re having problems in general with your relationship, don’t you find it easier to point out what he’s doing that’s wrong or irritating, than identifying most of your own mistakes or bad habits?
Marriage counseling is definitely one of those “do it sooner rather than later” situations. You don’t want to have years and years of cemented bad behavioral patterns or maladaptive coping mechanisms to unlearn. Just because you and your spouse haven’t “reached” a position where you’re screaming at each other, performing acts of violence on each other or your respective property, and there hasn’t been infidelity, does not mean marriage counseling is not for you. Whatever your problem is, even if you can’t find the words to identify or pin it down, you deserve to make your relationship a source of happiness, not anxiety or frustration.
Still shy about seeking marriage counseling? That’s okay. If you’ve never had therapy or seen a counselor before, it can be a little intimidating, especially if you don’t know what to expect or you’re nervous about sharing personal thoughts with others. Often though, speaking with a stranger (especially one trained in compassionate care) does make you feel better.
Let’s take a look at five ways marriage counseling can make your relationship better:
Growing apart: This is a major reason that couples seek marriage counseling. Many times, what we perceive as “growing apart” is really a lack of communication brought upon by stress and busy schedules. Counseling can help you feel connected again.
Too much conflict: Marriage counseling is meant to give you the problem solving tools to resolve conflict. A counselor will help you understand some of the deeper reasons why you’re having conflicts, so that even when you’ve resolved your current immediate source of conflict you’re empowered to solve future problems in a healthy way. It’s unhealthy to expect never to have disagreements, even after counseling, and a counselor will help you learn to disagree constructively.
Lack of communication: Everyone has different styles of communicating. Some people
don’t like talking about their problems and would rather ignore them. Other people get over things easier than their partners, so they don’t understand when their spouse brings up something that happened a while ago or they thought wasn’t a big deal. If you were exactly the same as your spouse, life wouldn’t be nearly as interesting. Marriage counseling is there to help you mesh your communication styles and avoid impasses that lead to conflict or loss of intimacy.
Sex drives out of sync: Sometimes marriage problems are about sex. Yes! It’s okay to talk about sex and it’s not superficial. If you’re never in the mood at the same time as your partner, marriage counseling can help you find out why and what to do about it.
Improving intimacy: It can be hard to develop new, positive habits and toss out our old negative associations and unconscious actions. Your therapist isn’t going to ask you some questions while you lie on a sofa and then pass you a guide book and send you off on your own. You will practice integrating the positive changes so that you truly feel closer to each other and learn to meet your loved one’s needs (and still feel comfortable) in the long term.
Marriage counseling services
Eddins Counseling Group offers marriage counseling services in the Houston and throughout Texas via videoconferencing (like Skype) if appropriate and convenient for you and your partner. Sometimes, marriage counseling can occur with just one partner present since when you make changes in your relationship, it still impacts your partner.
Contact us to find out more about how a marriage therapist can help or read more about marriage counseling services. To get started now give us a call to schedule an appointment at 832-559-2622 or schedule an appointment online.
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