Webinar: How To Help Your Adolescent Establish Healthy Interpersonal Relationships and Boundaries

Are You Ready to Empower Your Teen with the Skills for Healthy Interpersonal Relationships and Boundaries?

Navigating healthy interpersonal relationships and boundaries during adolescence can feel like an emotional minefield. Teens often face challenges like peer pressure, self-doubt, and the overwhelming pull of social dynamics. If you’ve watched your teenager struggle to set boundaries, manage emotions, or build healthy connections, you’re not alone.

But there’s a way to help them thrive.

Our January webinar, “How to Help Your Adolescent Establish Healthy Interpersonal Relationships and Boundaries,” is here to equip you with practical tools to support your teen’s growth. Facilitated by Tasha DeWalt, a professional school counselor and pre-licensed therapist, this session is designed for parents who want to empower their teenagers to build meaningful, healthy relationships while maintaining their sense of self.

Why This Webinar Is for You

Did you know that interpersonal effectiveness isn’t something we’re born with? These skills must be learned — but emotions often get in the way. Sometimes, automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) about ourselves make it hard to find new relationships or end toxic ones.

This webinar will help you understand how to guide your teen in overcoming these barriers and developing the confidence and skills they need for healthy interactions.

What You’ll Learn

During this engaging session, Tasha DeWalt will cover:

• Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills: How to teach your teen the building blocks of healthy relationships.
• Managing Emotions in Relationships: Practical strategies to prevent emotions from sabotaging connections.
• Challenging Automatic Negative Thoughts: Tools to help your teen identify and combat self-doubt.
• Boundary Setting Made Simple: Steps for helping teens protect their emotional well-being and communicate assertively.

Meet Your Guide: Tasha DeWalt

Tasha DeWalt is a dedicated Professional School Counselor and Pre-Licensed Therapist with years of experience helping adolescents navigate life’s challenges. Passionate about empowering teens and their families, Tasha combines her expertise in counseling with a compassionate approach to deliver practical, impactful solutions.

Take the First Step Toward Healthier Relationships

Imagine your teen confidently setting boundaries, forming healthy connections, and navigating social challenges with ease. It starts with the right tools — and you can be the one to help them learn.

Watch a replay of the presentation here.

Today’s topic is How to Help Your Adolescent Establish Healthy Interpersonal Relationships and Boundaries. Tasha Dewalt, a pre-licensed clinician with Eddins Counseling & Therapy Group, is an LPC intern currently gaining hours toward becoming a licensed LPC.

An Overview of Today’s Webinar

• Understanding interpersonal relationships and what they look like
• Learning different interpersonal skills to implement for effective and healthy relationships
• Understanding boundaries and how to develop/implement them effectively
• Learning the 7 types of boundaries and how to feel confident implementing them

Today’s webinar will cover key aspects of interpersonal relationships and boundary-setting. The session will focus on understanding what interpersonal relationships look like, learning various interpersonal skills for effective and healthy relationships, understanding boundaries and how to develop and implement them effectively, and exploring the seven types of boundaries with strategies for confidently applying them.

This webinar provides an opportunity to reflect on personal interpersonal relationships and boundaries, gaining insights that can help adolescents navigate these aspects more effectively. 

The main topics include:

• Learning skills to help your child navigate interpersonal relationships.
• Learning and understanding different types of boundaries.
• Helping your child learn to develop and implement boundaries with confidence. 
• Learning and understanding different types of interpersonal skills.

A Moment of Self-Reflection

Now is an opportunity for a moment of self-reflection. Parents are encouraged to consider their interpersonal relationships and ask themselves a few key questions:

• Are these relationships healthy, or do they need improvement?
• If improvement is needed, what are the underlying reasons?
• What about personal boundaries—are they firm and consistently implemented?
• Is it time to reassess and update those boundaries?

Taking a moment to honestly evaluate the state of interpersonal relationships and boundary-setting can provide valuable insight. This reflection serves as a chance to reassess and reevaluate, identifying areas that may benefit from adjustment or improvement.

What are Interpersonal Relationships? 

Moving forward, let’s define interpersonal relationships. An interpersonal relationship is a connection or interaction between two or more people.

These relationships are essential for human development and survival, providing a sense of belonging, improving communication skills, and helping individuals navigate challenges. While some people, particularly introverts, may prefer solitude and thrive in their own space, connections with others remain fundamental to personal growth. Interpersonal relationships play a crucial role in shaping character and navigating the surrounding environment.

Communication with others is inevitable, even for those who prefer minimal interaction—such as using curbside delivery services. Understanding interpersonal relationships and how they function is crucial, not only for personal growth but also for guiding children in developing their own relationships.

Establishing a strong foundation early on helps children build confidence in their interactions, take ownership of their emotions, and navigate relationships effectively.

Regardless of personality type, interpersonal relationships play a vital role in daily life. These relationships can exist in various contexts, including family dynamics.

Interpersonal relationships exist in various forms, starting with family connections. These include nuclear family relationships, such as those between parents and siblings, as well as extended family relationships with grandparents, great-grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins.

Beyond family, interpersonal relationships also include friendships, which can develop in school, the workplace, and other social settings. For adolescents, particularly those in middle and high school, these relationships hold significant importance.

Helping adolescents navigate their interpersonal relationships is just as crucial as the relationships themselves. The foundation established during this stage will play a vital role as they transition into young adulthood—affecting their ability to interview for jobs, adapt to college life, build connections with roommates, and engage with the world confidently. Developing strong interpersonal skills early on equips them for future success in both personal and professional settings. Today’s session will focus on understanding what interpersonal relationships look like and exploring ways to support adolescents in developing and maintaining healthy connections. 

Interpersonal Skills

Interpersonal skills are the skills we use to communicate and interact with one another. These skills are essential for developing and maintaining healthy relationships. Again, we’re setting the foundation. These skills essentially should be taught from a very young age so that they are carried with us as we grow into adults. 

People typically begin to develop interpersonal relationships as soon as they are born. So as we develop, we’re learning these interpersonal skills through experiences. So for example, a child crying or throwing a temper tantrum to get their desired results. If you don’t want to hear your child crying or you’re in the middle of the grocery store and your child is having a meltdown, a lot of times you’re inclined to give them what they want so that the behavior does not continue. So children pick up on that and oftentimes learn how to implement those skills as they get older. 

Well, “if I cry or if I do this and that, then I can get what I want”. And that’s not always healthy, so we want to make sure that we are communicating and teaching healthy interpersonal skills. As far as interpersonal relationships, we also learn to communicate differently with different people, such as your parents, siblings, coworkers, and teachers.

The way I would interact with my parents is definitely probably not the way I’m going to interact with my siblings, because we have a different understanding, we have a different level of respect for one another. Same with my coworkers. I’m not going to necessarily be as free or outgoing with my coworkers as I may be with my family or my friends. 

Understanding interpersonal relationships and having those skills also helps us determine how to carry ourselves in different relationships and understand what’s appropriate and what’s not appropriate in certain settings. 

During the teenage years, adolescents may begin to experience more intense and immediate intimate relationships as they develop into individuals. Therefore, learning interpersonal skills is essential for establishing and maintaining healthy relationships. 

With 10 years of experience in education, including time as a classroom teacher, school counselor, and currently as a special education coordinator, Tasha Dewalt is highly familiar with the importance of relationships for adolescent children. During her career, she has observed how seriously adolescents take their relationships, with their emotions deeply invested in these connections. As a result, Tasha often found herself discussing friendship and offering guidance to students in both group and individual settings.

What do we want our friendships to look like? How do you carry yourself within the friendship? What’s okay for you? What’s not okay for you? If you are the parent of an adolescent, you then understand that those relationships are very, very important to them. 

It’s important to encourage children to develop healthy relationships from an early age. As young as first and second grade, children begin to understand who they are and what friendship means. While their relationships may not be as intense as those of teenagers, younger children are still becoming more aware of themselves and their interactions with others. Teaching them interpersonal skills at this stage is not only okay but essential for laying the groundwork for stronger, more confident relationships as they grow.

Types of Interpersonal Skills 

• Active Listening – listening to the words and emotions people are communicating through their nonverbal behavior. Ex: maintaining eye contact, nodding occasionally, asking clarifying questions.
• Assertiveness – stating your thoughts and feelings, and being more confident. Ex: giving your opinion, expressing feelings, saying no.
• Conflict Resolution – peacefully resolving disagreements/disputes. Ex: problem solving, compromising, listening.
• Empathy – recognizing emotions in others and putting yourself in their shoes. Ex: validating emotions, offering support, compassionate feedback.
• Apologizing– understanding what it means to make a genuine apology and when to apologize. Ex: acknowledge the offense, express remorse, don’t make excuses.

These are just a few examples of key interpersonal skills, and while there are many more, these stand out, especially when it comes to boundary-setting.

Active Listening

Active listening is a crucial skill. It involves not only hearing the words someone is saying but also paying attention to the emotions they communicate through nonverbal behavior. This includes maintaining eye contact, nodding occasionally, and asking clarifying questions. Nonverbal cues help signal to the speaker that you are engaged, that you understand, and that you care about what they are saying. While maintaining eye contact can sometimes be intimidating, and may vary across cultures, it’s important to be mindful of the cultural aspects of eye contact. Engaging through these nonverbal cues and asking clarifying questions like, “Can you explain that further?” or “What do you mean by that?” ensures that both parties are on the same page.

Assertiveness

Another essential skill is assertiveness—expressing thoughts and feelings with confidence. This can be difficult for many, as assertiveness is often mistaken for confrontation. However, being assertive doesn’t necessarily mean being confrontational; context matters. Teaching children to confidently express their feelings and thoughts without fear of others’ reactions is vital. Many people, especially children, hesitate to share because they fear the response they might get. Encouraging them to express themselves assertively helps build confidence and strengthens their interpersonal relationships.

Many children express hesitation when it comes to sharing their feelings, saying things like, “I don’t want to say this because I’m afraid the other person might not like me anymore” or “I’m worried they won’t be my friend.” This often leads to a deeper conversation about the nature of true friendship. It’s important to remind them that if someone is truly their friend, expressing their feelings should not be an issue. The focus should be on how they share their feelings, rather than just what they share, and understanding the context in which they communicate.

Healthy relationships are built on trust, mutual respect, and open communication, where both people feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions.

For example, giving an opinion on something doesn’t mean you always have to agree with what your friend is saying. That’s why we all have our own opinions, and it’s important to state them respectfully and confidently. When expressing feelings, it’s helpful to say things like, “I feel sad because…” or “I feel angry because…” or “I’m feeling anxious because…” It’s crucial to always follow up with why, so that there’s a clear understanding of what the person is feeling. This allows actions to be more appropriate and supportive toward that person.

 

And then there’s having the confidence to say no. This is a really tough one, not only for adolescents but for adults as well. Believe it or not, no is a complete sentence. Saying no and standing firm in that decision is a key part of being assertive, especially if something is uncomfortable or if your child finds themselves in an uncertain or uncomfortable situation. Saying NO is absolutely necessary for maintaining boundaries and protecting oneself.

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution is about peacefully resolving disagreements and disputes. It’s very common for adolescents to have disagreements or disputes over something, and it’s important to help them understand that sometimes these conflicts can be healthy. They offer an opportunity for the parties involved to discuss the issues they’re having and find a way to resolve them appropriately. For example, teaching your child to problem-solve, compromise, and listen can help them navigate conflicts effectively.

Take siblings arguing over who will ride in the front seat, for instance. This is a perfect time to implement compromise: “Okay, you ride in the front seat on the way there, and I’ll ride in the front seat on the way back.” Even young children, as early as elementary school, can practice compromise and problem-solving. For example, “You get on the swing for five minutes, then I’ll get on the swing and you can push me.”

If they’re having a problem with each other, teaching them to ask, “Hey, why are we having a problem? Did I say something or do something to upset you or offend you?” allows the other person to share their feelings. This is why so much of interpersonal skills overlap: feelings are always involved. Teaching your child the foundation of feelings and the importance of expressing them will help them build these essential interpersonal skills, as everything ultimately revolves around communication and validating feelings.

Empathy

Empathy is about recognizing emotions in others and putting yourself in their shoes. It’s important to validate other people’s emotions, such as saying, “Okay, you feel angry? Why do you feel angry?” Even if you don’t feel the same way about a situation—perhaps something doesn’t make you angry, or you aren’t offended by what someone else is—you can still understand and feel where they are coming from.

It’s essential to teach adolescents the value of empathy because just because they haven’t experienced something themselves doesn’t mean they can’t be compassionate and respectful toward others. Ask yourself about your own empathy: Are you empathetic towards your spouse, coworkers, friends, or family? Does your child see you showing empathy toward others? Do you show empathy toward your child?

Oftentimes, we forget that adolescents are real people with their own emotions, opinions, and feelings. Just like adults, they need to be heard and validated. We must take the opportunity to stop and listen to them, just as we would expect to be validated in the workplace or by a spouse, coworker, or friend. Children want to feel validated, too.

Offering support is another key part of empathy: “Can I help you with that? Is there something I can do to make you feel better?” And, even if we don’t fully understand what someone is going through, being compassionate and sharing kind words is important. That’s the essence of empathy—offering kindness and support, even if we’re not going through the same thing ourselves.

Apologizing

Apologizing can be a difficult skill for many, as it requires taking accountability for something we’ve said or done. A genuine apology means understanding its significance and knowing when to apologize. This involves acknowledging when you’ve done something offensive to a friend, family member, spouse, or coworker, and expressing genuine remorse, such as saying, “I’m really sorry. It wasn’t my intention to make you upset, angry, or sad.” It’s crucial not to make excuses, like “If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have had to do this,” because that doesn’t validate the other person’s feelings.

We want to teach adolescents that when it’s time to apologize, the apology must be sincere. They should acknowledge what they’ve done, take accountability, and avoid making excuses. Most importantly, an apology should come with a commitment to change behavior. If someone apologizes but continues the same actions, the apology loses its meaning.

This webinar gives parents an opportunity to reflect on their own interpersonal skills. How do you apologize? How do you show empathy, handle conflict resolution, or demonstrate change? Children are always watching, and more often than not, they will model the behaviors they see. By setting a good example, parents can help their children learn these essential skills for navigating relationships.

How Can I Help My Child Develop Interpersonal Skills and Healthy Relationships?

It’s going to start with you examining your own interpersonal skills in relationships. If you need to make adjustments there, that’s going to be really important because if you’re not in a space where you can acknowledge deficits in your own interpersonal skills and relationships, it’s going to be really hard for you to help your child navigate interpersonal relationships and skills. 

To help your child develop interpersonal skills and healthy relationships, ensure that you are actively listening to them, that you are teaching them empathy, that you are modeling positive communication behaviors, that you are encouraging open dialog, providing opportunities for social interaction, and teaching nonverbal communication cues such as eye contact, body language. 

All of this while considering your child’s individual needs and limits. Because you have children, just like adults who are very introverted, may not necessarily like being around a bunch of people or having a bunch of friends. And so that is okay as well. But still, they need to learn those skills because there are going to be times where communication is very important, and they’re going to have to express themselves, even if they are introverted and prefer to be alone. Your modeling all of these behaviors is going to be helpful for your child, seeing how to interact within a relationship.

Here are a few key strategies you can use to help you make the connection with your child:

Discussing Emotions 

Providing a safe space for your adolescent to share their emotions is crucial. From the perspective of a school counselor, many students have shared that they don’t feel they have a safe space at home to talk about their feelings. When asked, “Do you ever talk to your parents or guardians about how you feel?” the common response is no. When further inquiring why, many students mention that their parents are often too busy or don’t believe that children can experience stress, anxiety, or other challenges. Some even mentioned that when they did try to share, their parents would dismiss their feelings, telling them to “go sit down” or implying that their concerns were not important.

This highlights the importance of creating an environment where your child feels heard and validated. It’s essential to make sure that, as parents or guardians, we are attentive and non-dismissive of their emotions, allowing them to feel safe in expressing themselves. Without that space, children may hesitate to open up, making it harder for them to manage their emotions effectively.

It’s essential to provide your child with a safe space to talk about their emotions.

When they don’t have this safe space at home, they may turn to other places, like the internet or strangers, who may not have their best interests at heart. Unfortunately, some people may exploit their vulnerability, using their need for a safe space to manipulate them.

By fostering an environment where your child feels comfortable and supported in expressing their feelings, you’re not only helping them understand and manage their emotions but also building trust between you. Encourage regular check-ins like, “How was your day? How are you feeling? Are you angry today?”

One helpful tool for this is an emotions chart. You can easily find printable versions online. This chart helps your child identify their emotions in a more specific way, rather than just answering “I’m fine” or “I’m okay.” It opens the door for deeper conversations and helps them feel more confident in discussing their feelings with you.

Open Communication

Having open communication with your child is crucial for building trust and understanding. It’s important to create an environment where they feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings, just like discussing their emotions. One way to encourage this is through regular family check-ins, where everyone, including the parents, can share how they’re feeling, the highs and lows of the week, and their needs.

For example, you can ask questions like, “What do you need from me as a mom? What do you need from me as a dad?” Likewise, encourage your child to express what they need from you. This kind of open communication helps create a safe space for your child to be heard, strengthens the family bond, and shows them that their feelings and needs are valued.

By having this dialogue and open communication, parents are modeling essential interpersonal skills and showing how to build healthy relationships. The key is intentionality—when you make these conversations a regular part of your routine, it becomes a natural and consistent practice. Over time, your child will become accustomed to check-ins and will have a safe space to share their emotions without hesitation.

As they grow and build their own relationships, this foundation encourages them to be active listeners and to respect the feelings of others. They’ll learn that communication is a two-way process—it’s not just about expressing themselves but also understanding and valuing the emotions of the people around them. This helps them navigate all kinds of relationships, whether with friends, family, or others in their lives.

Body Language Awareness 

Pointing out the importance of eye contact, facial expressions, and being actively engaged through nodding and maintaining attention is crucial for effective communication. We all want to be heard, and we all want our feelings and thoughts to be validated, which is why these nonverbal cues matter so much. It’s essential to help adolescents recognize and understand body language, as it can reveal when someone is uncomfortable, shy, or feeling awkward. This awareness not only helps them navigate conversations more effectively but also helps them identify when someone might need support or when it’s appropriate to set boundaries.

Being a Role Model

Being a role model is crucial in demonstrating good interpersonal skills. As mentioned before, actively listening, showing respect, and managing your emotions are essential. It’s important to check in with yourself—ask, “What kind of day have I had?” and take a moment to decompress if needed before interacting with your family. If you’re carrying stress from work or other aspects of life, it’s okay to say, “Hey, give me a minute to get myself together, and then we’ll talk.” Taking this time to manage your own emotions helps you show up more present and calm for your loved ones.

When your child is speaking to you, make sure to give them your full attention. Put down your phone, turn off the TV, and focus on them. Ask follow-up and clarifying questions to show you’re engaged and interested in their thoughts. Children are incredibly perceptive, and they learn by observing you. If you consistently incorporate these behaviors into your routine, they will likely mirror them and build their own strong relationships based on these foundational skills.

What Are Boundaries?

Now, let’s dive into boundaries. Boundaries and interpersonal skills are closely related because healthy relationships, in my opinion, can’t exist without some form of boundaries. Setting boundaries can be challenging, but it is essential for well-being and for cultivating healthy relationships.

Boundaries help determine what is and what is not okay in a relationship, whether that be with friends, partners, co-workers, teachers, or family members. Ideally, we put boundaries in place to protect our well-being, they help us to build trust, safety, and respect in relationships.

Everyone can have boundaries, regardless of their role in your life. The purpose of boundaries is to protect your well-being and create an environment of trust, safety, and respect. Without boundaries, unwanted behaviors may continue simply because others may not know what’s acceptable until you say something.

Think about the boundaries you’ve set for yourself. What about the ones you’ve set for your spouse, your children, your friends, and your coworkers? Are those boundaries effective? Do you respect the boundaries of others? And importantly, how do you communicate your boundaries?

Often, we struggle with establishing and maintaining effective boundaries. Sometimes, we may be able to set boundaries, but we struggle with enforcing them. Other times, we’re afraid that our boundaries will push people out of our lives, but it’s important to remember that boundaries define what is acceptable or unacceptable to us. And if enforcing them results in distancing from people who don’t respect those boundaries, that may not necessarily be a bad thing.

When it comes to teaching our children about boundaries, it’s the same concept. They need to learn that it’s okay to set boundaries with friends, teachers, and family members, and that those boundaries should be respected. For example, a child might not want to hug a certain family member, and it’s important for them to be able to respectfully say, “I don’t feel comfortable hugging that person,” without parents forcing them to do so out of politeness or social expectations. We need to support our children’s boundaries, because when they are pushed beyond their comfort zone, it can cause them to shut down, which is harmful in the long run.

So, consider your own boundaries and how you feel when they’re crossed, and then think about your children’s boundaries. It’s crucial that we work on developing and implementing healthy boundaries for both ourselves and our kids.

Types of Boundaries

We have some different types of boundaries. 

• Physical boundaries are important because they define a person’s comfort level with privacy and touch. Some people love hugs as a way of greeting, while others may feel uncomfortable with physical touch for a variety of reasons. It could be due to past trauma, personal preference, or even concerns about hygiene, especially following the pandemic. It’s essential to respect these boundaries, and if someone isn’t comfortable with hugging, it’s perfectly fine to offer an alternative, like a handshake or a high five.

When teaching your adolescent about their own physical boundaries, it’s important to start by educating them about their body and the proper names for their body parts. This sets a foundation for healthy body awareness and self-respect. You can teach your child how to communicate their discomfort if someone gets too close, such as saying, “You’re a little too close, do you mind scooting over?” or “That makes me uncomfortable.” These simple phrases give them tools to set boundaries confidently. Help your child understand the difference between what’s comfortable and what’s not, and guide them in identifying what is appropriate or inappropriate in different situations.

Emotional Boundaries

Emotional boundaries are just as crucial as physical boundaries, especially in today’s fast-paced and often overwhelming world. We never really know what someone is going through, whether it’s personal struggles, family issues, or work stress. It’s important to be mindful of others’ emotional boundaries and avoid overstepping. For instance, if you notice someone is upset, offering a simple, “Are you okay?” can be supportive. However, it’s essential not to push them to share or pry too deeply.

Instead, you can offer emotional space, letting them know you’re available if they want to talk but respecting their choice to open up when they feel ready. Validation of their feelings without being intrusive is key. By being supportive and compassionate, you show that you respect their emotional boundaries while ensuring they know they have someone they can turn to if needed. This creates an environment of trust and emotional safety.

Intellectual Boundaries

Intellectual boundaries are vital in maintaining respectful and productive conversations, especially when discussing topics that can be deeply personal, such as religion, politics, or other beliefs. It’s important to understand that just because we don’t agree with someone’s views, we should still honor their right to hold those beliefs. Respecting intellectual boundaries means recognizing that people have different perspectives and that disagreements don’t have to lead to confrontations.

For example, if someone expresses an opinion that you don’t share, instead of dismissing or challenging them aggressively, you can acknowledge their viewpoint and even use it as an opportunity to expand your own understanding. Teaching children the value of respecting differing beliefs and opinions helps them develop open-mindedness and critical thinking skills. Encouraging them to approach intellectual differences with respect, rather than defensiveness, creates a healthier environment for communication and understanding, both at home and in society.

Time Boundaries

Time boundaries are crucial in maintaining respect and trust in relationships, both personal and professional. Being punctual and respecting others’ time shows that you value their presence and commitment. Whether it’s keeping appointments, showing up when you say you will, or notifying someone ahead of time if you can’t make it, it helps foster understanding and reduces frustration.

For children, learning the importance of time boundaries can help them build responsibility and reliability. For example, if a child struggles with being late to school, it’s important for parents to acknowledge the emotional impact of it, even if they don’t see it as a big deal. A parent can help their child by planning ahead, discussing the importance of being on time, and reinforcing the respect for other people’s schedules. Modeling punctuality and teaching children time management skills helps them grow into individuals who value and respect time, leading to healthier, more dependable relationships in their future.

Material Boundaries

Material boundaries are about respecting other people’s belongings and personal space. It’s important to teach children and adolescents that just because something is accessible, it doesn’t mean it’s theirs to take without permission. Whether it’s borrowing a friend’s pen, entering someone’s room, or borrowing a sibling’s item, the principle is the same—always ask first, and respect their right to their property.

Teaching adolescents this respect for material boundaries also encourages empathy and accountability. For instance, if they break or lose someone else’s item, it’s important they take responsibility and offer to replace it. This not only shows respect but also helps them understand the value of other people’s things, just as they would expect their own items to be treated with care.

For parents, having open conversations about what is and isn’t acceptable when it comes to sharing or borrowing things in the household helps set clear boundaries. Encouraging teens to knock before entering someone’s room, ask before borrowing personal items, and understand that material things should be treated with the same care they would show their own belongings, lays the foundation for healthy, respectful interactions with others.

Spiritual Boundaries

Spiritual boundaries are all about respecting others’ beliefs and personal journeys, especially when it comes to religion or spirituality. Just as we honor physical, emotional, and intellectual boundaries, it’s equally important to be mindful of someone’s spiritual beliefs, whether or not we share them.

If someone expresses beliefs or practices that are different from ours, we can respectfully acknowledge their right to their beliefs without feeling the need to participate or agree. For example, if a conversation about religion makes you uncomfortable, it’s okay to politely excuse yourself or let others know, “I don’t engage in conversations about religion or spirituality, but I respect your beliefs.”

This kind of boundary is about being true to your own comfort while also showing respect to others. It’s important to model for children and adolescents that it’s okay to set spiritual boundaries, whether it’s with friends, family, or even in a larger community setting. Teaching them that it’s not about rejecting others’ beliefs, but simply setting boundaries that honor their own comfort and respect for others’ journeys, helps them build a solid foundation for healthy, respectful interactions.

Sexual Boundaries

Sexual boundaries are crucial and absolutely essential in ensuring that individuals’ physical and emotional well-being is respected. It’s about understanding and respecting one’s own comfort levels with physical touch, while also prioritizing consent in any situation that involves another person’s body. Teaching adolescents about consent, respect, and autonomy is vital in helping them build healthy relationships and avoid potential harm.

It’s important to have open, honest, and age-appropriate conversations about sexual boundaries, emphasizing that both partners should feel comfortable and that consent should be explicit and ongoing. Consent is not just about saying “yes” or “no,” but about mutual respect and being attuned to the other person’s comfort. Consent can also be withdrawn at any time, and that should be honored without question.

As parents, caregivers, or mentors, it’s necessary to create a safe and non-judgmental environment where young people feel they can ask questions, express their feelings, and seek guidance on such sensitive topics. While discussing sexual boundaries, it’s equally important to help adolescents understand that their bodies are their own, and no one has the right to violate those boundaries, regardless of the situation. By teaching these principles early on, we empower adolescents to protect themselves and others, foster respect, and make responsible decisions in their future relationships.

Boundaries Can Sound Like…

Boundaries can take several forms:

• “I’m not comfortable discussing this.”
• “I’m not comfortable going there.”
• “I need some time to think.” (If a decision is required but you or your child aren’t ready, it’s okay to say, “I just need some time to think about it. I’ll get back to you tomorrow, or I’ll let you know next week,” depending on the situation.)
• “I can only stay for an hour.” (For example, if a child is invited to a party or asked to play a game, they can be taught that there’s a time boundary. “I can only stay for an hour,” or “I can only stay for 45 minutes,” or “I need to check with my parents first.” It’s important to teach that their time is valuable too and to ask for consideration. Many times, we don’t express our boundaries because we fear confrontation or are unsure how others will respond, but setting boundaries helps us navigate relationships and determine who deserves our time and space.)
• “I don’t answer emails after seven.”
• “That’s not appropriate. Please stop.”
• “I hear you, but I’ve made my decision.” When someone is trying to convince you to change your mind after you’ve already made a decision, it’s important to stand firm and say, “I’m not changing my decision.”

Boundaries can sound like a few different things. You’re not wrong for having boundaries. And It is important to express to your adolescents that they are not wrong for having boundaries either. 

How Can I Help My Child Develop Boundaries? 

It is important for adolescents to create and advocate for their own boundaries. By defining key personal preferences on communication in space, adolescents can have the control to develop healthy relationships and advocate for themselves. Being an advocate for your child and showing your child how to be an advocate for themselves is extremely important. 

Here are some key strategies that you can use to help you make the connection with your child. 

Encourage Your Child to Identify Their Emotions

This is going to be the theme pretty much in everything: the relationship, boundary setting, communicating, everything is going to involve sharing some type of emotion. So teaching your child to label their feelings. “I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m disappointed, I’m embarrassed.” They need to know that it is okay to have feelings and that they have a safe space in which to share their feelings. 

Again, it comes with you modeling how to share your feelings. They need to know what it is they are feeling first to effectively set limits and boundaries. For example, if your child has a friend that does something to them to make them angry, and your child realizes what made them angry in that moment and about what their friend did, it is okay for your child to express: “Hey, that is a boundary for me because that action makes me angry”. 

Identify Unacceptable Actions and Behaviors

The first step to setting boundaries is to be able to notice when people around you are behaving in ways that are unacceptable. For example, if your child shares with you that they have a friend that uses profanity or vulgar language or is physically inappropriate with their peers, and they acknowledge that as unacceptable, uncomfortable behavior.

That is a great opportunity to set a boundary and say, “That makes me uncomfortable. Please don’t behave that way in front of me.” It’s important to allow children to express their own boundaries as well. While it might seem surprising for a parent to hear, “My child is giving me a boundary,” it’s essential to remember that children are individuals, too. Just like adults, they need their own boundaries, which is a healthy part of personal growth.

Respect Others Boundaries

Teaching children to respect others’ boundaries is crucial, as healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and open communication. It’s important for teens to understand that honoring someone else’s boundaries is just as important as asking others to respect theirs. If they want their space and boundaries respected, they must do the same for others. Respecting boundaries, even when there are differences, is fundamental.

Explain the Risks of Not Setting Boundaries

It’s also important to explain the risks of not setting boundaries. For adolescents, it can sometimes feel easier to let things slide or remain silent when a friend or dating partner crosses a line. However, not setting boundaries can lead to feelings of discomfort, resentment, or confusion in relationships.

But not setting boundaries is very risky because that allows the behavior to continue. And again, so often it’s hard for adults to set boundaries because they’re afraid of how the other person is going to respond to that boundary. So it’s even more difficult for children to set boundaries because they’re in an age, the adolescent age, where friendships and being liked is super, super important. 

Setting a boundary or not going along with what everybody else is doing, they may feel like it’s the worst thing in the world. But teaching them that not having boundaries can potentially put you in a lot of predicaments that you’re not comfortable with. So understanding how to say no and set boundaries is really important. 

Even if nothing serious happens within the relationship, not setting boundaries can lead to resentment or damage to the friendship. If you have a child who just goes with everything that their friends are doing, and they want to set a boundary or they know that this is just not really them or how they feel, they can start to have resentment and issues with their friends because they didn’t set the boundaries. 

Lead By Example

Make sure that you’re leading by example. If your child sees you intentionally setting thoughtful boundaries, they will naturally learn that it’s a part of successful adult communication. So lead by example. That means parents that you’re going to have to check yourself very often because your kiddos are indeed watching you, for sure. It’s a great community, again, for you to do a check-in with yourself and see where you are with your boundaries and how you are operating in your relationships. 

Signs That Your Adolescent Could Use Better Boundaries

• They are frequently involved in drama with their friends or peers
• They struggle with making decisions
• They seem to just go along with what others are saying/doing without voicing their own thoughts
• They are constantly tired
• They complain about feeling anxious or guilty constantly
• They are frequently passive aggressive
• They seem terrified of rejection
• They are extreme with their trust, they either trust everyone without question or trust no one.

These, of course, are not always signs that your child could use better boundaries, but they are a pretty good indicator that your child needs to have a discussion about expressing feelings and setting boundaries.

So while individually, these signs may not indicate boundaries, they are still displaying one or more, it’s something to keep an eye on for sure. And again, this is where having check-ins and conversations as a family and creating that open space and safe space for your child is really important for them to come to you.

No, it’s not being suggested that they will run to you with every single thing. However, knowing they have a safe space where their feelings are validated and not shut down will be very helpful in them setting boundaries and fostering healthy interpersonal relationships.

About the Facilitator 

Latasha DeWalt is a pre-licensed clinician and an LPC intern currently completing her practicum course for her post-master’s LPC program. She has been with Eddins Counseling & Therapy Group since August. With 10 years of experience in education, Latasha has worked as a classroom teacher, school counselor, and is now a special education coordinator. She earned her Bachelor of Science in Family and Consumer Sciences from Texas State University in San Marcos and her Master of Education in Professional School Counseling from the University of St Thomas.

As an LPC intern, Latasha DeWalt works with children, teens, young adults, and professionals who are navigating life stressors. She utilizes a variety of techniques to best address each client’s unique situation, focusing on solution-focused and behavioral approaches. Latasha is committed to providing an innovative and therapeutic experience, particularly enjoying working with clients who struggle with anxiety, relationship issues, depression, and self-image. She is also open to working on other issues as she continues to grow in her understanding and practice. Latasha is dedicated to creating individualized plans that meet clients where they are in the present moment while also focusing on their future goals. 

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Contact our therapists to find out more about how we can help you be a better parent and establish a more meaningful relationship with your child. To get started now, give us a call to schedule an appointment at 832-559-2622 or schedule an appointment online. We also offer online therapy for convenience and flexibility