Are You a Perfectionist? We Have a Group for That!
Do you ever feel inadequate, like you aren’t living up to your own expectations or someone else’s? Do you ever think you aren’t good enough? Do you find yourself comparing yourself to others and coming up short? Would you say that you’re your harshest critic? Then you might be suffering from a bad case of perfectionism and could use a strong dose of self-compassion and self-acceptance.
Let’s look at 7 signs that you might be a perfectionist:
- You need to always be in control.
- Nothing is ever good enough.
- You’re always overly eager to please others.
- You procrastinate a lot.
- You are highly critical of others.
- You have to do everything yourself.
- You do whatever it takes to reach your goals, even if it hurts you.
Here are some common characteristics of perfectionism:
Fear of failure and rejection. Perfectionists often equate failure to achieve their goals with a lack of personal worth or value. If others see their flaws, perfectionists fear they will no longer be accepted. Perfectionism is a way of protecting from criticism, rejection, and disapproval.
Fear of success. A perfectionist belief might be that if he is successful in what he undertakes, he will have to keep it up. This becomes a heavy burden—who wants to operate at such a high level all of the time?
Low self-esteem. Needs for love and approval could blind one to the needs and wishes of others. This can make it difficult to have healthy relationships with oneself or others.
Black-and-white thinking. People with perfectionistic beliefs may see most experiences as either good or bad, perfect or imperfect.
Extreme determination. People with perfectionistic beliefs are determined to overcome all obstacles to achieving success. This is also true of high achievers, but the perfectionist focuses only on the result of his efforts. He is unable to enjoy the process of producing the achievement.
Overemphasis on “shoulds.” Perfectionists’ lives are often structured by an endless list of “shoulds” that serve as rigid rules for how their lives must be led. With such an overemphasis on shoulds, perfectionists rarely take into account their own wants and desires.
Believing that others are easily successful. Perfectionists tend to perceive others as achieving success with a minimum of effort, few errors, emotional stress, and maximum self-confidence. At the same time, perfectionists view their own efforts as unending and forever inadequate.
Perfectionism robs us of joy and paralyzes us so that we can’t make the progress we otherwise could if we got out of our own ways. If you’re tired of beating yourself up, then the Overcoming Perfectionism group might be a great place to learn how to lovingly accept yourself, connect with others, and live a much healthier and more meaningful life.
Read more about perfectionism on our blog:
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