Fears of Compassion Scale


People will take advantage of me if they see me as too compassionate.

1 out of 38

Wanting others to be kind to oneself is a weakness.

2 out of 38

I feel that I don't deserve to be kind and forgiving to myself.

3 out of 38

If I really think about being kind and gentle with myself it makes me sad.

4 out of 38

I fear that when I need people to be kind and understanding they won't be.

5 out of 38

Being compassionate towards people who have done bad things is letting them off the hook.

6 out of 38

There are some people in life who don't deserve compassion.

7 out of 38

Getting on in life is about being tough rather than compassionate.

8 out of 38

I'm fearful of becoming dependent on the care from others because they might not always be available or willing to give it.

9 out of 38

I often wonder whether displays of warmth and kindness from others are genuine.

10 out of 38

Feelings of kindness from others are somehow frightening.

11 out of 38

I would rather not know what being "kind and compassionate to myself" feels like.

12 out of 38

When I try and feel kind and warm to myself I just feel kind of empty.

13 out of 38

I fear that being too compassionate makes people an easy target.

14 out of 38

When people are kind and compassionate towards me I feel anxious or embarrassed.

15 out of 38

I fear that if I start to feel compassion and warmth for myself, I will feel overcome with a sense of loss/grief.

16 out of 38

I fear that if I become kinder and less self-critical to myself then my standards will drop.

17 out of 38

People will take advantage of you if you are too forgiving and compassionate.

18 out of 38

I worry that if I'm compassionate, vulnerable people can be drawn to me and drain my emotional resources.

19 out of 38

I fear that if I am more self-compassionate I will become a weak person.

20 out of 38

If people are friendly and kind I worry they will find out something bad about me that will change their mind.

21 out of 38

I worry that people are only kind and compassionate if they want something from me.

22 out of 38

People need to help themselves rather than waiting for others to help them.

23 out of 38

When people are kind and compassionate towards me I feel empty and sad.

24 out of 38

I have never felt compassion for myself, so I would not know where to begin to develop these feelings.

25 out of 38

I worry that if I start to develop compassion for myself I will become dependent on it.

26 out of 38

If people are kind I feel they are getting too close.

27 out of 38

I fear that if I become too compassionate to myself I will lose my self-criticism and my flaws will show.

28 out of 38

I fear that if I am compassionate, some people will become too dependent upon me.

29 out of 38

Being too compassionate makes people soft and easy to take advantage of.

30 out of 38

I fear that if I develop compassion for myself, I will become someone I do not want to be.

31 out of 38

I find it easier to be critical towards myself rather than compassionate.

32 out of 38

Even though other people are kind to me, I have rarely felt warmth from my relationships with others.

33 out of 38

I try to keep my distance from others even if I know they are kind.

34 out of 38

For some people, I think discipline and proper punishments are more helpful than being compassionate to them.

35 out of 38

I fear that if I become too compassionate to myself others will reject me.

36 out of 38

If I think someone is being kind and caring towards me, I "put up a barrier".

37 out of 38

I fear that if I am too compassionate towards myself, bad things will happen.

38 out of 38

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Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S, CGP on Twitter
Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S, CGP
Rachel’s passion is to help people discover their personal gifts and strengths to achieve self-acceptance, create a healthy relationship with food, mind and body, and find meaning and fulfillment in work and life roles. She helps people create nurturance and healing from within to restore balance and enoughness and overcome binge eating, emotional eating, anxiety, depression and lack of career fulfillment.

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