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Fears of Compassion Scale

1. People will take advantage of me if they see me as too compassionate.
2. Wanting others to be kind to oneself is a weakness.
3. I feel that I don't deserve to be kind and forgiving to myself.
4. If I really think about being kind and gentle with myself it makes me sad.
5. I fear that when I need people to be kind and understanding they won't be.
6. Being compassionate towards people who have done bad things is letting them off the hook.
7. There are some people in life who don't deserve compassion.
8. Getting on in life is about being tough rather than compassionate.
9. I'm fearful of becoming dependent on the care from others because they might not always be available or willing to give it.
10. I often wonder whether displays of warmth and kindness from others are genuine.
11. Feelings of kindness from others are somehow frightening.
12. I would rather not know what being "kind and compassionate to myself" feels like.
13. When I try and feel kind and warm to myself I just feel kind of empty.
14. I fear that being too compassionate makes people an easy target.
15. When people are kind and compassionate towards me I feel anxious or embarrassed.
16. I fear that if I start to feel compassion and warmth for myself, I will feel overcome with a sense of loss/grief.
17. I fear that if I become kinder and less self-critical to myself then my standards will drop.
18. People will take advantage of you if you are too forgiving and compassionate.
19. I worry that if I'm compassionate, vulnerable people can be drawn to me and drain my emotional resources.
20. I fear that if I am more self-compassionate I will become a weak person.
21. If people are friendly and kind I worry they will find out something bad about me that will change their mind.
22. I worry that people are only kind and compassionate if they want something from me.
23. People need to help themselves rather than waiting for others to help them.
24. When people are kind and compassionate towards me I feel empty and sad.
25. I have never felt compassion for myself, so I would not know where to begin to develop these feelings.
26. I worry that if I start to develop compassion for myself I will become dependent on it.
27. If people are kind I feel they are getting too close.
28. I fear that if I become too compassionate to myself I will lose my self-criticism and my flaws will show.
29. I fear that if I am compassionate, some people will become too dependent upon me.
30. Being too compassionate makes people soft and easy to take advantage of.
31. I fear that if I develop compassion for myself, I will become someone I do not want to be.
32. I find it easier to be critical towards myself rather than compassionate.
33. Even though other people are kind to me, I have rarely felt warmth from my relationships with others.
34. I try to keep my distance from others even if I know they are kind.
35. For some people, I think discipline and proper punishments are more helpful than being compassionate to them.
36. I fear that if I become too compassionate to myself others will reject me.
37. If I think someone is being kind and caring towards me, I "put up a barrier".
38. I fear that if I am too compassionate towards myself, bad things will happen.

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Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S, CGP on Twitter
Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S, CGP
Rachel’s passion is to help people discover their personal gifts and strengths to achieve self-acceptance, create a healthy relationship with food, mind and body, and find meaning and fulfillment in work and life roles. She helps people create nurturance and healing from within to restore balance and enoughness and overcome binge eating, emotional eating, anxiety, depression and lack of career fulfillment.

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