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Sound Relationship House Questionnaires

The "Sound Relationship House" consists of the qualities of marital friendship, positive or negative perspective, regulation of conflict, and shared meaning, which build together to form a solid foundation for a happy marriage. These questions refer to each of those qualities. Your marriage counselor will review each of your results to identify areas of strength in your relationship and areas for growth in therapy. Be as honest as possible with your responses, which will be kept confidential. Each partner should complete this questionnaire separately.

1. I can tell you some of my partner's life dreams.
2. I can tell you the relatives my partner likes the least.
3. My partner is familiar with what are my current stresses.
4. I can list my partner's major aspirations and hopes in life.
5. I know my partner's major current worries.
6. My partner really respects me.
7. I feel loved and cared for in this relationship.
8. Romance is something our relationship definitely still has in it.
9. When I come into a room, my partner is glad to see me.
10. My partner appreciates the things I do in this relationship.
11. I really enjoy discussing things with my partner.
12. We always have a lot to say to each other.
13. We have a lot of fun together in our everyday lives.
14. We really have a lot of interests in common.
15. We like to do a lot of the same things.
16. Thinking about your immediate past (last 2-4 weeks) or a recent discussion of an existing issue, generally:

I felt innocent of blame for this problem.
17. Thinking about your immediate past (last 2-4 weeks) or a recent discussion of an existing issue, generally:

I felt unjustly accused.
18. Thinking about your immediate past (last 2-4 weeks) or a recent discussion of an existing issue, generally:

I felt personally attacked.
19. Thinking about your immediate past (last 2-4 weeks) or a recent discussion of an existing issue, generally:

I felt unjustly criticized.
20. Thinking about your immediate past (last 2-4 weeks) or a recent discussion of an existing issue, generally:

I wanted the negativity to just stop.
21. When we discuss our issues:

Arguments often seem to come out of nowhere.
22. When we discuss our issues:

I seem to always get blamed for issues.
23. When we discuss our issues:

My partner criticizes my personality.
24. When we discuss our issues:

Our calm is suddenly shattered.
25. When we discuss our issues:

I find my partner’s negativity unnerving and unsettling.
26. When we discuss our issues:

I generally want my partner to feel influential in this relationship.
27. When we discuss our issues:

I can listen to my partner, but only up to a point.
28. When we discuss our issues:

My partner has a lot of basic common sense.
29. When we discuss our issues:

I don’t reject my partner’s opinions out of hand.
30. When we discuss our issues:

My partner is basically a great help as a problem solver.
31. During our attempts to resolve conflict between us:

We are good at taking breaks when we need them.
32. During our attempts to resolve conflict between us:

Even when arguing, we can maintain a sense of humor.
33. During our attempts to resolve conflict between us:

We are pretty good listeners even when we have different positions on things.
34. During our attempts to resolve conflict between us:

If things get heated, we can usually pull out of it and change things.
35. During our attempts to resolve conflict between us:

My partner is good at soothing me when I get upset.
36. During our attempts to resolve conflict between us:

We are usually good at resolving our differences.
37. During our attempts to resolve conflict between us:

We both believe in meeting each other halfway when we disagree.
38. During our attempts to resolve conflict between us:

In discussing issues, we can usually find our common ground of agreement.
39. During our attempts to resolve conflict between us:

Yielding power is not very difficult for me.
40. During our attempts to resolve conflict between us:

Give and take in making decisions is not a problem in this relationship.
41. When we discuss our issues:

We keep hurting each other whenever we discuss our core issues.
42. When we discuss our issues:

My partner has a long list of basically unreasonable demands.
43. When we discuss our issues:

I don’t feel respected when we disagree.
44. When we discuss our issues:

My partner often acts in a selfish manner.
45. When we discuss our issues, my partner acts as if I am totally wrong and he or she is totally right.
46. When we discuss our issues:

I have to defend myself because the charges against me are so unfair.
47. When we discuss our issues:

I often feel unappreciated by my partner.
48. When we discuss our issues:

My partner doesn’t face issues responsibly and maturely.
49. When we discuss our issues:

I am just not guilty of many of the things I get accused of.
50. When we discuss our issues:

My partner has a lot of trouble being rational and logical.
51. Our discussions get too heated.
52. I have a hard time calming down.
53. One of us is going to say something we will regret.
54. I think to myself, “Why can’t we talk more logically?”
55. My partner has a long list of unreasonable demands.
56. I often find myself disappointed in this relationship.
57. I will at times find myself quite lonely in this relationship.
58. It is hard for my deepest feelings to get much attention in this relationship.
59. There is not enough closeness between us.
60. I have adapted to a lot in this relationship, and I am not so sure it’s a good idea.

Be sure to click Submit Quiz to see your results!



Name Your Couples Therapist's Name Email Phone Number
Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S, CGP on Twitter
Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S, CGP
Rachel’s passion is to help people discover their personal gifts and strengths to achieve self-acceptance, create a healthy relationship with food, mind and body, and find meaning and fulfillment in work and life roles. She helps people create nurturance and healing from within to restore balance and enoughness and overcome binge eating, emotional eating, anxiety, depression and lack of career fulfillment.

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