Gottman Method Couples Therapy
in Houston, TX and Online
What Is The Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is a highly effective couples counseling used for couples experiencing persistent conflict and gridlock in their relationship. Using The Gottman Method, couples can learn to:
The Gottman Method is a highly effective couples counseling used for couples experiencing persistent conflict and gridlock in their relationship.
Using The Gottman Method, couples can learn to:
How The Gottman Method Developed And Became A Gold Standard For Couples Counseling
Gottman couples therapy was first researched by psychologist couple Doctors John and Julie Schwartz Gottman in the 1970s when they began developing The Sound Relationship House Theory.
This research ultimately generated the nine components of a healthy relationship, which are at the foundation of the Gottman approach to couples therapy.
Decades later, The Gottman Method continues to be heralded as one of the most highly effective approaches to relationship counseling for couples who struggle with communication, conflict, and are considering divorce.
In addition, the Gottmans continue to be pioneers in same-sex relationship research, making this a widely applicable therapy for a wide array of couples and partner orientations.
Highly Effective Method of Couples Therapy
What is the Effectiveness of Gottman Couples Therapy?
According to John Gottman’s research, marriage conflicts fall into two categories: solvable or perpetual. Most marital conflicts (69%) are perpetual, making them a focus point in therapy using The Gottman Method.
As a result, evidence shows that this model is effective for couples who struggle with:
- Frequent conflicts and arguments
- Poor communication
- Emotional distance
- Specific challenges including sexual difficulties, infidelity, finances, and parenting
Dr. Gottman research also led him to predicting divorce based on a couple’s communication and behavior patterns. Learn more about the effectiveness from research studies cited on the Gottman’s site.
The Foundation Of The Gottman Method
According to the Gottmans, there are nine components of a healthy partnership upon which “The Sound Relationship House” is built:
- Building Love Maps – allows each partner to gain a sense of each other’s inner world, including joys, worries, hopes, and fears
- Share Fondness and Admiration – fostering appreciation and respect as a counter to contempt or conflict
- Turn Towards Instead of Away – stating needs and learning to appreciate the building blocks of a relationship
- The Positive Perspective – taking a positive approach to problem-solving together
- Manage Conflict – normalizing conflict in a relationship; learning to understand the difference between handling perpetual and solvable problems
- Make Life Dreams Come True – fostering an atmosphere of honesty and encouragement
- Create Shared Meaning – understanding the narratives surrounding the partnership
- Trust – achieving a sense that each partner is acting with each other’s best interests and benefits in mind
- Commitment – authentically believing that the relationship is a lifelong journey
Using this model as the foundation for counseling, a Gottman therapist will begin couples therapy for clients experiencing frequent conflicts and setbacks in their relationship.
What Does Therapy Using The Gottman Method Look Like?
Counseling using The Gottman Method starts with an in-depth interview with both partners present. Information from this interview is paired with a comprehensive assessment completed by both partners to give the couple’s therapist a sense of the primary setbacks occurring within the relationship.
From there, separate, individual interviews are arranged so that the therapist can get additional feedback and perspective on the relationship.
During ongoing sessions, both partners and the therapist will discuss specific interventions to strengthen their relationship in the three main areas: friendship, conflict management, and the creation of shared meaning.
In doing so, couples learn how to both replace negative conflict patterns with positive interactions and gain the tools to repair past wounds.
Couples using The Gottman Method find that they better understand how to foster respect and closeness in their relationships, ultimately creating a deeper connection with one another. This connection, paired with skills for conflict management, allows couples to strengthen their bond and maintain the gains in their relationship.
The Gottman Method FAQ's
At Eddins Counseling Group, we are committed to providing effective, scientifically validated therapy to our client couples. The results we have seen in couples using The Gottman Method bolsters the research supporting this evidence-based model.
We are pleased to have several Level 1 and Level 2 Gottman–trained therapists on our team. These clinicians received credentials through The Gottman Institute, and some have completed advanced training.
Couples in all stages of their relationship can benefit from Gottman couples therapy. Whether seeking a relationship checkup or rebuilding couples intimacy and connection, learning practical skills can help.
Types of couples who benefit from the Gottman method of couples therapy include:
- Dating Couples: build foundational skills for a healthy, lasting partnership.
- Engaged Couples: go through the sound relationship house and build love maps of your partner along with essential skills for a thriving marriage.
- Married Couples: increase friendship, connection, affection, love and understanding, improving marital satisfaction.
- Couples with Infidelity: When both partners are committed to preserving the relationship, recovering from an affair can be achieved. This includes removing communication patterns Gottman has identified as destructive to intimacy and learning healthy ways to handle conflict.
- Restoring Sexual Intimacy: learn your partner's preferences, explore sensuality and build sexual safety in your relationship.
- Families: Gottman therapy can teach you emotion coaching skills to use in effective parenting based on decades of research with families.
Alternatively, for couples that are not sure if they want to stay married, we recommend discernment counseling before beginning therapy using The Gottman Method.
If you are unsure of what course of action you need, we offer free consultations to help you figure out which of our clinicians is best suited for your needs.
However, we believe that for anyone who wants to stay in the relationship and is willing to do the work to maintain it, The Gottman Method affords all couples an opportunity to reconnect and restore their love.
Couples using The Gottman Method at Eddins Counseling can expect to commit to about 12 therapy sessions.
And because The Gottman Method requires a high degree of accountability and self-awareness, we ask that couples in therapy are committed to changing themselves—and not just focused on changing their partner.
We find that focusing on one’s partner rather than the self reduces motivation, slows the process, and leads to negative outcomes.
Yes. Online couples therapy is also an option with The Gottman Method.
Your therapist may also ask you to complete an assessment on dimensions of your relationship which can also be completed online.
Pave The Way For Healing And Connection
A roadmap exists for your relationship that can guide you and your partner in navigating gridlock and misunderstanding. If you’re looking to manage conflict, strengthen your bond, and increase intimacy and respect within your partnership, The Gottman Method can help.
For more information about our Gottman-trained therapists or to schedule an appointment, please contact us or call (832) 559-2622.
Get Help From a Specialist in Gottman Method Couples Therapy
What Clients Are Saying
From day 1 my husband and I have both felt like our counselor has really helped us overcome some of our issues. I can see real progress being made both through our sessions with her and through the exercises and homework she recommends.