February 3, 2020

Dealing with ADHD: When It’s Difficult & You Feel Like a Failure

Written by Rachel Eddins

Posted in ADHD/Autism and with tags: ADHD, guilt and shame, self-compassion

sad woman dealing with adhd and feeling like a failureIf you are dealing with ADHD, you’ve probably lost track of the many times you’ve been told it’s not your fault. But the enormous impact of ADHD on your life can certainly make it feel like it might be at least partly your fault.

It can be hard to accept that various ADHD behaviors stem from factors outside of your control. This mindset is especially true if it seems like other non-ADHD people can easily control similar behaviors in themselves.

Perhaps you’ve tried medication, behavior modification, and more. Maybe you’ve seen improvement but still struggle. Finding a way to remind yourself and honestly believe that you are not a failure is possible, though.

Build on Your Strengths

It can be helpful to step back and remind yourself of your strengths. What are you good at? What do you excel at?

Your strengths are a wonderful part of you that often stand outside of your ADHD diagnosis. At the same time, you might also exhibit unique strengths as a result of your ADHD symptoms.

Recognize these strengths and interests. Make a list of them and of accomplishments that make you feel proud or happy. Find ways to build on them and put them to work for you in everyday life.

Whether small or big, these strengths are proof that you are not a failure and that you are capable of success.

Draw upon these strengths when you’re tempted to give in to your cynical internal critic. Counter the negative messages you give yourself with positive truths you know are real.

Remember That Everyone Is Different

Yes, this probably sounds cliché—but it’s true. Everyone struggles with something. Even your ADHD experiences are different than your friend’s ADHD experiences.

People you know who do not have ADHD may be dealing with mood disorders or other health issues. It can seem like life is easier for everybody else, but it isn’t. For better or worse, all people must face challenges and weaknesses. Some are just more obvious than others.

It’s been said many times, but there are no two identical people on the planet. Even identical twins are not similar in everything. Remember that you are a wildly unique, one-of-a-kind individual. Enjoy this uniqueness.

Don’t Give Up

Dealing with ADHD symptoms can be exhausting. Struggling with the same tendencies over and over again might be wearing you out. But don’t give up. Hang in there and remember that you are stronger than you think.

Do the things you know are vital for your emotional and physical health—eating well, exercising, and practicing stress management. Even little steps can go a long way.

If you know others with ADHD, see if they’re willing to talk about their experiences. Having emotional support from someone who’s walked in our shoes can be transformative. They can serve as a sounding board and offer an essential connection.

Ask For Help From an ADHD Specialist

Maybe you’ve reached out for professional help with your ADHD in the past, or maybe not. Perhaps you had some therapy as a child but none since then. Maybe you didn’t like a therapist you had in the past or felt like it wasn’t helpful.

No matter your situation, asking for help is not a sign of failure. Instead, it truly is a sign of courage and strength.

Humans were not made to tackle significant challenges on our own. A skilled therapist can work with you to identify goals to work toward. They can help you learn practical techniques to manage symptoms.

Therapists can serve as an encouraging coach as you build your skills and continue your journey toward a productive, happy life.

If you are ready to begin effectively dealing with your ADHD, I encourage you to reach out today. For more information, read more about Adult ADHD Treatment and how counseling in Houston may be the answer you’re searching for. You can also call us at 832-323-2355 or schedule an appointment online to find out more about our counselors and treatment methods.

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