THE RELATIONSHIP PATH
(“Where have I been in my relationship?”)
In this last exercise, you reflected on “where you are” in your relationship and you will now consider, “where you’ve been” in your relationship. As your life has a “path” to it so does your relationship. It began somewhere in place and time when you first met and it has followed a “course” that has led up to this present period. You have gone through “times” or “periods” of your relationship that is marked off by certain events. These times can variably “long” or “short” depending on your unique experience of the relationship. In this exercise, you will reflect on the course of your relationship from the time it began (its “birth”) and write out, in sequential order, around significant periods or events that stand out for you much as you did in the exercise (“Where have I been in my life”).
You don’t need to go into a lot of detail; simply describe the overall time, what stands out for you about this time and what seems to mark this time off. You don’t need to worry about specific dates, just write them in sequential order; it is the events themselves, positive or negative, that are important to describe. You will go into more detail about each of these periods” in a subsequent exercise.
Your first experience is a given and that was the time when you met. The First moment that you laid eyes on one another was the time your relationship was conceived, the “spark” that started you on your path. Begin with that time, “The time we met…”. As in previous “Path” exercises, a good opening to describe each of the subsequent times is to begin your sentences with the words, “The time when…” and then go ahead and describe the essence of the time.
Take a few moments now to allow yourself to close your eyes and get in touch with your physical existence… Become quiet within yourself and see if you can put aside any extraneous thoughts or images and allow yourself to attend to the rhythm of your breathing… Now allow yourself to reflect on the whole course of your relationship from the time you first met as if you were reviewing a movie… and notice your recollection of the events, times and experiences which spontaneously arise in your mind’s eye… and watch them for a while… Recall your earliest experiences… And allow your mind to review briefly the times… The places… The circumstances… The events… That lead up to this present time…
Go to the next journaling exercise: My Relationship Path (structured)
Click here to download the pdf version.
*Journaling exercises written by Cort Curtis, Ph.D, used with permission.