Do You Wonder If It Is Too Late To Save Your Marriage?
Are you looking for support in negotiating a crisis in your marriage or committed relationship? Are you and your partner or spouse on the brink of divorce and looking to either resolve differences or go your separate ways? Does it feel like one of you has one foot out the door, but the other is not ready to let go? Have you heard of divorce therapy?
Perhaps both of you are experiencing a lot of ambivalence that’s got you stuck in the same place with no apparent way out. Or maybe you worry about how to talk to your kids about divorce—or how you will navigate relationships with families and friends in the future.
Divorce can have a devastating impact on everyone involved, but the process of deciding whether to stay or call it quits can be equally frustrating. And when one person is not sure of what they want, it can create a lot of stress that only exacerbates the tension between you. Even if you decide to stay together, the exact relationship dynamics that created problems in the first place could quickly resurface if not appropriately addressed.
That’s why working with a divorce counselor can be such an empowering experience. With our impartial support and guidance, you can gain clarity, find direction, and make informed decisions without being emotionally overwhelmed through this process.
What is the purpose of divorce counseling?
Your life is shaped by the experiences you have and the relationships you encounter. At one point, you decided to marry this person, and that decision was not a light one. This decision is equally as important and will have lasting effects.
The purpose of divorce counseling will be different for every couple or ex-couple. For example, if you have children and you need divorce help not only for you and your spouse but also for how to talk about divorce to your kids. And you need more informed advice than what your neighbor thinks.
Another example is a couple where one party wants a divorce, and the other is against it. Divorce counseling can help you reach a resolution that is the best option for both of you.
A different and possibly unfamiliar example is a couple that is happily divorced and wants divorce advice. This advice can include how to best co-parent children, how to maintain amicable relationships, or how to just move on.
The idea is that whether you want to save your marriage, end that relationship, or maintain it hereafter, divorce counseling can help. It takes into account all of your options in a realistic and guided manner. You can be in marriage counseling, but if your partner wants out, divorce counseling calls out the elephant in the room for what it is and creates viable ways past it.
Do you need counseling before divorce?
In most circumstances, ending a marriage is hard. It’s the kind of hard that you never thought you’d experience with this person you shared your vows with. Perhaps you have children. Divorcing parents can have tremendous effects on a child’s development, and that’s not even considering whether or not parents have an amicable or hostile relationship.
Divorce counseling for couples that are planning on ending their marriage and to find some ways to enhance the experience for everyone involved. It can help couples on the brink of divorce decide if this is really the best option for both of them. If you are in an unhappy marriage and you need a way out but don’t want to traumatize your children, you can find a viable solution with counseling.
No matter what you face with your partner, having a neutral and well-informed third party present can make a possibly difficult and painful experience so much better.
Does pre-divorce counseling work?
Pre-divorce counseling, also known as discernment counseling, works to help both partners address issues at the source of their dissatisfaction in their relationship. Oftentimes, conflict centers around a unique set of problems or patterns in the relationship that, left unresolved, can continue to future relationships. Addressing the source of conflict together provides an opportunity to repair unworkable patterns and learn new skills to improve your relationship.
If a couple has previously tried couples therapy with no success or decided they’d like to end the relationship, pre-divorce counseling is the answer.
The goal of discernment counseling is to gain some clarity and establish confidence in their decisions about the future of their marriage. These feelings are based off of the understanding of what has happened to their marriage and what each person has contributed to these issues.
How does post-divorce counseling work?
You are your partner are ending the relationship, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to pull out the knives. In post-divorce counseling, your counselor will guide both of you through the process of building an amicable relationship. This is especially important if you have a reason to continue in a working relationship with each other, which is usually where children are involved.
Basically, you are your now ex-partner will learn to co-parent effectively, handle a post-divorce relationship, work through disputes, and more.
Do you have to have counseling before divorce?
There are plenty of couples that can dissolve a relationship without conflict or concern, but how many do you know? Divorce therapy serves as a way through any possible conflict.
Counseling before a divorce may entail you and your partner, with the help of your counselor, working through the issues in your relationship that have gotten you to this point. Sitting down with your partner in a neutral setting with a neutral third party is always an enlightening experience, but in divorce counseling, all parties must acknowledge the fact that divorcing is technically an option. At least, it’s being considered by someone involved, if not both parties.
There are also the ex-couples that participate in counseling after the fact to explore healthy options for moving on, helping all affected through such a transition, or just making sure you can co-parent effectively.
Even The Healthiest Marriages Can Experience A Crisis
Many people feel as though they are a failure for getting divorced as if the world is watching and judging. But you are not a failure—you are simply in pain. There are so many dynamics involved in a relationship that it can be difficult for anyone to navigate them successfully.
Sometimes, people just get stuck in a pattern—a hole that gets deeper and deeper because they don’t have the necessary tools to dig their way out. And by putting up walls and not communicating (a typical response to conflict), marriage problems can be hard to address. By the time most people seek help for their marriage, it’s already in crisis.
Often, personal differences, cultural expectations, or infidelity can add tension to an already delicate situation.
As time goes on…
Partners or the relationship as a whole can simply evolve, ultimately leaving one person feeling abandoned. Some people suddenly find themselves in an unhappy marriage and don’t even know how they got there.
The truth is, relationships take work and maintenance, but many of us do not know what that looks like. Instead, we tend to smile through the pain until it becomes unbearable—until it seems like the only option left is divorce.
Divorce counseling often referred to as discernment counseling, can offer you a new perspective that will enable you to make logical decisions for moving forward regardless of which direction you take. At Eddins Counseling, we’ll help you explore all the options on the table, resolve conflict and communication issues, and guide you through the recovery process.
Divorce Recovery Counseling Offers Unbiased Guidance And Support
Friends and family can be powerful allies, but breakups and divorce can often make those same people feel compelled to choose sides. However, working with a divorce counselor allows you to openly discuss and explore options without being judged or having values thrust upon you. It teaches you how to move forward with life, how to talk to your kids, and essentially how to make a “soft landing.”
Most people who come to divorce recovery counseling fall into three categories:
1) those who are uncertain of saving their marriage
2) those who are on the brink of divorce
3) those who have differing agendas for the relationship.
Discernment counseling is a research-based treatment model that provides targeted support for addressing each of those three scenarios.
What to Expect in the Pre-Divorce Counseling Process?
Typically we’ll begin with an introductory two-hour session followed by weekly 90-minute sessions. Although you and your partner will come to therapy together, we’ll only have you meet as a couple for parts of the session.
At times, we’ll have you split off individually for a short period before resuming as a couple. This gives us a chance to gain candid insight from each partner that we’ll then integrate into the overall discussion.
Some of the topics we’ll examine may include:
- What are some of the contributing factors that have led your marriage to this point?
- What have you tried personally or professionally to address these issues?
- What role do your children play in the decision-making process?
We’ll also explore ways in which you felt the most connected to your partner, identify things you wish they understood about you, and ultimately, determine if you are willing to work on those concerns to keep the marriage going.
How Long is the Discernment Counseling Process?
Typically, discernment counseling is a very brief process—requiring only one to five sessions—with a very specific goal in mind: to gain clarity and direction. After you come to an agreement about the future of your relationship, we can develop a strategy for entering the next phase.
For instance, if you decide to give the marriage another try, we can set you up for additional couples or marriage counseling sessions. We’ll also equip you with strategies for improving communication and resolving conflict better.
Conversely, if you think divorce is the best option, we can teach you how to navigate the process with grace and composure. We’ll help you find ways of talking about divorce with your children and offer advice for successful co-parenting strategies.
We can also help each partner address harmful behavior patterns or personal dynamics, to create challenges in future relationships. And in the case that one partner is ambivalent—or perhaps not ready to let go—discernment counseling is the perfect place to gain clarity.
While divorce recovery counseling offers a chance for reconciliation, its true power lies in mediation and helping couples find peace regardless of the direction the relationship will eventually go in. And though you cannot expect to see changes overnight, change is possible, and this is the best place to discover what that looks like.
All of our discernment counseling clinicians have the same skill set as traditional couples counselors and marriage therapists. So no matter what your decision is, we have the experience and expertise to help you find peace and move forward.
Perhaps you are considering divorce recovery counseling but have some concerns…
I’m afraid the therapist is just going to try to convince me that I’m wrong.
Every person and every couple has their own needs, so we act as a neutral resource for discerning what is best for you. Though we want to help you understand your partner and their needs, we will never push either of you in a direction you don’t want to go in.
Whether you are dealing with uncertainty, having mixed feelings about the situation, or you are ready to cut ties, we can provide everyone equal support regardless of their position. That’s what makes our services truly tailored to the individual.
I’ve already gone through a divorce, so can you still help me?
We understand that the divorce process can be extremely stressful, but so many people find themselves exactly where you are right now. If you don’t believe us, just sign up for our divorce support group, and you’ll see that you are not alone. Drawing upon a community of voices just like your own, you can rebuild a sense of normalcy and wholeness that will enable you to land on your feet—and find a few allies in the process.
Can you help us if we have already decided to get divorced?
One of the benefits of working with us is that we are specially trained to help you find a way to move forward with life regardless of your decision. So if you are in the process of divorcing, our clinicians can help you navigate family relationships, deal with emotional overwhelm, and make a smooth transition into the next stage of your relationship. Whether you are married, in a committed relationship, or recently divorced, we can help you make it through this difficult time.
Does my family need post-divorce counseling?
Can you see cracks in your family foundation forming as a result of the divorce? It is a challenging question to answer. Deciding to divorce can be difficult, but moving on can often prove much harder.
Having guidance through this new time is a low-risk bet and it might be just what your family needs. A counselor is a neutral third party with no emotional investment in the issues your family is having, unlike you and your ex-partner. They are simply a guiding force that can help you see meet resolutions with ease and cultivate an era of healing in your family life.
Life Beyond Divorce: Women’s Group
We understand that divorce or discernment counseling is not something you ever imagined your relationship needing. If change is hard and scary, divorce may look terrifying.
Believe us when we say you are not alone. In this weekly group counseling session, you will learn how to regain your independence and find your confidence after divorce. You will build friendships with those that understand your position and cultivate hope for a bright future.
Let Us Help You Explore The Next Stages In Your Relationship
If your marriage or relationship is on the brink of divorce, we can help you find solutions for making peace and moving forward. Please call 832 559 2622 for a free, 15-minute consultation so we can address any questions you may have and assess which services are the best fit for you.