October 28, 2013
Is She Marriage Material – Journalist Interview
Written by Rachel Eddins
I was recently asked to provide input on how to know if a woman is marriage material. Here is a link to the article and reprinted below:
10 Signs a Woman is Marriage Material
An Interview with Therapist Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC
Jaleh, Yahoo! Contributor Network, Aug 14, 2010
Is there a woman in your life that you are considering in marrying? Are you unsure if your woman is marriage material? To help you better determine if your woman is marriage material, I have interviewed therapist Rachel Eddins who will reveal what 10 signs to look for when deciding if the woman you’re with is marriage material.
Tell me a little bit about yourself
“I’m a therapist in private practice and often help people who are either seeking or are in relationships to increase attraction, intimacy, and communication to improve their marriages or relationships. Besides my clinical training, I’ve learned most of what I know through my own experiences with my partner who is open to sharing and growing with me.”
What are 10 signs that a woman is marriage material?
- “A woman is marriage material when she seems to have her stuff together – i.e., she’s comfortable in her own skin, knows who she is as a person and knows what’s important to her – has goals, values, etc.
- A woman is marriage material when she has a clear sense of their own direction and personal goals and can take initiative towards those goals.
- A woman is marriage material when she is accepting and respectful.
- A woman is marriage material when she gives as much as she receives.
- You can tell a woman is marriage material when there is a balance of partnership to the relationship, it does not feel one-sided.
- You know a woman is marriage material when you feel loved by the way she is with you. She speaks your “love language” or is willing to learn what makes you feel loved.
- A woman is marriage material when you both have a romantic relationship as well as a friendship – she is the one you can’t wait to talk to about things that are important to you.
- Pay attention to how you resolve arguments. Are you able to agree to disagree or are you always to blame
- Watch out for criticism blame defensiveness and stonewalling – shutting you out completely – as these are predictors of unhappy relationships.
- A woman is marriage material if she can be vulnerable and trusting without expecting you to have to solve all their problems.
What advice do you have for someone who wants to marry but is having doubts if the woman he is with is marriage material?
“I would have to ask, “Why are you having doubts?” Explore that further. What are your fears and where are they coming from?
Sometimes, doubts can indicate your own fear of intimacy. Sometimes it can indicate that something isn’t right with the partnership in your relationship.
You really need to differentiate between attraction and intimacy (this includes emotional intimacy and friendship).
- Envision yourself at 80 years old talking with this person, what sense does it provide you?
- Observe how she treats other people to get a sense of her true character. Does that align with your own values
- Do you have anything similar in your backgrounds, experiences or interests that connect you?
- Observe how she interacts with your family and people close to you. Do you have fun together?”
Thank you Rachel for the interview. If you would like more information about Rachel Eddins you can check out her website https://eddinscounseling.com.
Looking for relationship counseling? Next Steps
Whether you are single or currently in a relationship, relationship counseling can help you find the intimacy and connection you desire. Contact one of our counselors for help. Our therapists in Houston are available for face to face sessions as online therapy sessions in limited areas.
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