September 14, 2015
You’re Far from Worthless — 7 Reasons to Believe in Yourself
Written by Rachel Eddins
The most important people in Maisie’s life describe her as a good person, a hard worker, and a loving friend.
Maisie’s boss couldn’t be happier with the job she’s doing at work. Unfortunately, Maisie doesn’t believe her family, her friends, or her coworkers.
Instead she sees the mistakes she’s made—deadlines she’s missed, birthday parties she couldn’t make, and relationships that didn’t work out.
Why can’t Maisie believe in herself the way others do?
From an early age, you probably learned to place a lot of value on success and achievement. Maybe you learned that your self-worth came second to your ability to do well.
While a mindset like this can feel motivating at first, it’s the foundation of a road leading toward a world where self-criticism and self-doubt drown out everything else in your life.
Are you constantly afraid you’ll slip up, and others will see you as worthless—a word you use to describe yourself? You don’t have to feel this way.
Sometimes believing in yourself means turning the self-talk you use on its head.
At other times, believing in yourself just takes hard work.
Seven (of the Many) Reasons to Believe in Yourself
1. You’re not defined by your mistakes.
If you don’t believe in yourself, a slip-up during a project or with a close friend might seem like a fatal omen: “Of course I forgot to respond to her email; I’m just not a good friend.”
If you see a yellow wall with a nearly imperceptible red dot on its surface, you don’t say, “this wall is red”—because it’s not. In the same way, you are not your mistakes.
2. Your friends believe in you.
One of the easiest ways to see how distorted your self-perception can sometimes be is to think about how your friends see you. You trust their judgment when it comes to others; why not try and lend their feelings about you a little weight?
3. Your success is not an anomaly.
Sometimes when you feel like you’re worthless, and you don’t believe in yourself, you might minimize moments of real success as accidental. Give yourself some credit for the role you play, in things that really do go well.
4. Self-doubt holds you back.
The negative self-images flipping through your mind are deceptive. They’re based on harmful thought patterns distorting the essential truth that you’re worth believing in.
If you think people are seeing you negatively, you’ll read ambiguous body language as hostile or disapproving, talking yourself further into self-doubt.
Assume that people like you—they probably do.
5. You’re not anyone else—you’re you!
Self-doubts can become especially loud when you’re comparing yourself to someone else. It might look like you’re failing, when really you’re just succeeding at something else.
Instead of keeping all the things you’re not running in a constant loop through your mind, take note of who you are and what makes you unique.
6. The world will take notice.
If you have to bluff a little bit when it comes to believing in yourself at first, you’ll still see results in the way the people react to you. If you seem to believe in yourself, others will often respond by placing their confidence in you too.
7. Even if things don’t go how you plan, it won’t be as bad as you think.
Sometimes when you don’t believe in yourself, you imagine that whatever you do will unavoidably end in catastrophe. “I can’t do this,” you might think, avoiding risks altogether.
In truth, even if a meeting or a party doesn’t go exactly how you plan, you probably did infinitely better than your worst nightmare wanted you to believe.
Counseling Services Available for Confidence and Low Self-Esteem
If you’re ready to take the next step in believing in yourself again, counseling can help. Our therapists in Houston, Tx can help. To get started now give us a call to schedule an appointment at 832-559-2622 or schedule an appointment online.
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