March 22, 2018
8. Actions That Can Make An Immediate Difference
Written by Rachel Eddins
Posted in Relationships, Couples, Marriage, Tools & Exercises and with tags: Couples & Marriage, couples journal exercises
Actions That Can Make An Immediate Difference in Your Relationship
The following is not a list to tell you what you should or should not do in your marriage or relationship.
Rather it is a list of possible actions that you might consider that can immediately shift the atmosphere in your relationship or home.
- Make a point of greeting your spouse when you see each after a day at work with a kiss, a hug, or simply “hello!”
- Phone when you are going to be later than expected
- Use one another’s name when speaking to each other
- Be home when you say you are going to be home or call to explain
- Give up a “singles” activity that separates you or causes discord
- Make a point of saying “good night” to one another before going to bed
- Leave a note for your spouse in the morning if you’re leaving before the other awakens. Keep it simple, such as “Good morning”, “Have a nice day”, “You’re special”, “I enjoyed last night”
- Cease all swearing or name calling
- Do an extra chore around the house
- Pick up after yourself, if you have a habit of leaving things lying around
- Turn off the TV earlier than usual
- If your spouse is a TV watcher and you aren’t, sit and watch TV together for one program
- Find an activity you can do together
- Acknowledge a special quality of your spouse in every dialogue letter
- Cease all criticism
- Call during the day just to say hi. Keep the conversation short. Don’t go on and on.
- Participate in your community together
9 Ways to Keep Romantic Feelings Alive & Meet Each Other’s Needs
Whether you have been together for fourteen months or fourteen years, your relationship takes work.
Beyond communication, here are a few therapist/counselor-approved tips on how to reroute unmet needs and fuel your romance for years to come.
By following the strategies below consistently, you are investing in meeting each other’s needs on a regular basis.
1. Have eyes only for your partner
In other words, keep your partner on the pedestal you put them on when you fell in love. Continue seeing them as the most attractive, funny, intelligent, and caring person in the room.
It’s not at all harmful to stay a little blind to their imperfections, as they do for you.
2. Show your partner appreciation
Look for opportunities to use their love languages. Perhaps this means you give positive affirmation, appreciation, and admiration to each other in words or deeds.
Ask yourself what you can do daily to praise and validate your partner. Above all, be loving, even at times you don’t feel like it.
3. Surprise your partner
Show some creativity and be spontaneous. Surprise them with breakfast in bed, a relaxing bath, a loving note in an unexpected place, or a unique or personal treat.
If “gifts” is one of their top love languages, this will really brighten their day. Even if it’s not, take this opportunity to give back to your partner in a way you know they will appreciate.
4. Make your relationship a daily priority
No matter how busy you are, find time for each other. Carving out at least 10-15 minutes a day just for the two of you without distractions will keep your romance from withering.
Power down your electronics, make eye contact and just enjoy talking. The love languages are good to use for this one.
5. Do new things together regularly
Enjoying new and exciting activities together can be arousing because it keeps your bond and attraction to each other fresh and strong.
- Take turns planning a weekly date,
- Try out new foods,
- Watch the stars or the full moon together,
- Spend a lazy weekend with each other, or
- Take classes together (including couples counseling classes to help you create a healthy partnership)
6. Allow your passion for life to carry over into your relationship
When you let your enthusiasm and excitement for all that life has to offer spill over into your love life, it’s a boost for your romance. So, make sure you keep your passions going to benefit from the emotional energy they create.
7. Cultivate intimacy
Touch, kiss, hold hands, communicate about deeply personal matters, such as your passions, hopes, and dreams. Intimacy is about connecting, being open and vulnerable, hearing, listening, and truly understanding your partner’s desires and needs.
8. Preserve a measure of independence
By maintaining a measure of independence, you can continue seeing each other from an ever-fresh perspective. Giving your partner space to do what they’re good at and observing them radiating confidence keeps the spark going and the mystery alive.
9. Enjoy your journey together
Don’t just see your relationship as a means for survival and companionship. See it as a journey together toward satisfaction and personal well-being. One that you could never make quite the same way alone.
Clearly, investing in the romantic aspect of your relationship can be done in many ways. As you continue giving your time and energy to each other, it becomes even easier to achieve long-lasting romantic feelings.
Increase Connection and Revive Communication by Asking For Help — Together
On the one hand, there are many expectations we have about marriage. On the other hand, there’s reality.
In the beginning, it might seem that the last thing you need as a couple is professional help. Falling in love can have a magical vibe, and it can feel like smooth sailing but staying connected requires actual work.
The work that must be done is not something we learn in school. We usually don’t learn it from family or friends either. So, where do we turn when we need to increase connection and fix communication in our relationships?
The increasingly popular and proven answer is “couples counseling.” Setting aside together time, once a week, is the first sign that you both want to grow. Your therapist will serve as a guide, a mediator, and a strategist.
Grievances and concerns are aired. Ideas are shared. A reconnection is built. No one said you have to figure it all out on your own. So please ask for help. We’re here for you.
What is marriage counseling? Do you need it? Find out HERE.
Go to the next journaling exercise: The Relationship Path
Grounding & Self Soothing
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