10 “Daily Chores” to Have a Happy & Healthy Marriage

How to Maintain a Healthy Marriage

If you’ve been married for years, you might need a few tips to keep your marriage healthy, happy, and alive.

The following ten tips are regarded as “chores” only tongue in cheek. They aren’t really “chores” per se, but a way of living that provides an environment for happiness together. Don’t try them all at the same time or your spouse might grow suspicious. (Just kidding.) Follow these guidelines on a regular basis to maintain a healthy marriage.

1. Show Appreciation

After years of living together, you find comfort in familiarities and routines. It’s natural and, to some degree, healthy. But there can be dangers associated with routines. They can become — routine! Show your appreciation for the comforts you enjoy by adding a little extra passion and appreciation to your routines.

2. Give and Take

By the time you have been married for years, the idea of finding balance between giving and taking seems to be old hat. But as you get older, you may find that what’s important to give and take gradually changes. You may need to learn to apply the idea differently.

3. Maintain Your Own Life

Some couples are inseparable and happily so. More often, though, maintaining happiness involves enjoying a life of your own. Maintain your own relationships with friends. Engage in your own hobbies and past-times. Be social on your own terms, not always as a couple. It’s one marriage of two people.

4. A Little Help . . .

As time goes on, some things that used to be easy for you and your loved one to accomplish will become more difficult. Bending, stooping, lifting . . . getting up out of an armchair. Make your loved one’s life a little easier by being a good partner. Lend a hand if you can.

5. Mind Your Ps and Qs

Sure, some routines may have developed over the years. Maybe she made you coffee every morning for years. Or maybe he shovels the sidewalk and mows the lawn. Practice good manners. Say “please” and “thank you”—every time.

6. Natural Disagreements and Challenges

Who wants to be married to a wet rag? You don’t have to agree about everything, all the time. Having disagreements at times is healthy. It shows you’re still alive and that you are still your own person.

7. Drop It!

Don’t let a disagreement about anything drag on. Either agree or agree to disagree and move along. Don’t dwell on the disagreement, find something better to dwell on.

8. Look Good

Your spouse looks at you more than you look at yourself, probably. Your appearance may not be all that important to you. If not for your own sake, keep up your appearance to be a little easier on the eyes of someone who looks at you a lot.

For example, body hair can be unattractive, especially as you age. While some women might love a man’s chest to be full of thick, luxurious hair, few find thick hair growing from ears or nostrils as being luxurious. Regardless of gender, if nose hair is measurable or ear hair is braidable, it might be a good time to break out the clippers.

9. Small Things

As you have likely learned, small things add up. Paying attention to the small things adds up, too. Attending to the small things shows you care.

10. “Good night, Dear”

Aren’t you glad, at the end of the day, to have a companion who knows you, understands you, and hopes for your happiness? Isn’t it nice to wake up with your spouse?

At the end of the day, before you go to bed, you might think about that. Say something. Maybe it’s a wish for sweet dreams, or just a warm, loving, “Good night, dear.”

Maintain a Healthy Marriage

Just like our car needs a tune up every now and then, our relationship can use a tune up to keep a healthy marriage. Especially when things seem to be going ok without major disagreements, it can be a great time to fine tune your relationship skills. Marriage counseling can help you create a shared vision for your future, negotiate transitions in your life, and rekindle the spark. Marriage counseling can be a place to explore your needs and goals for your relationship and help you build on the skills you already have.

Relationship Resources

The Marriage Refresher Course Workbook for Couples provides an opportunity for you and your spouse to benefit from learning the basics of strong, connected marriages, no matter how long you’ve been married. If marriage disconnection is an issue for you, this can be a helpful tool to get you back on track together. This can be a great resource to bring in with you to couples therapy. Click here to view more details.

The Premarital Counseling Workbook for Couples is designed to help you embark on marriage with a strong relationship skill set. We encourage you to strengthen your relationship foundation BEFORE you tie the knot – to pack your toolbox for the inherent ups and downs of life. This can provide insight for discussion in premarital counseling. Click here to view more details.