Has Porn Ruined Your Relationship? What Can You Do

It doesn’t matter if it only happens on occasion, or if you (or your partner) find yourself flipping open your laptop each day to do it: Porn can seriously damage a loving connection. Are you wrestling with the fear that porn ruined your relationship?

You aren’t alone. The pornography industry is a giant. It spans a variety of different demographics. Some couples even watch porn together thinking they can strengthen their relationship or promote deeper intimacy.

For many couples, though, porn can become a severe problem. 

If one partner isn’t okay with it, the other partner watching porn can feel like infidelity is occurring. Even if you’re not directly interacting with the “stars” on screen, you’re watching something for sexual pleasure and satisfaction. Something outside of your relationship.

Fortunately, even if porn has created extensive damage in your relationship, there’s still hope. Things can be repaired if both partners are willing to put in the work

Be Willing to Forgive

Before you think about rebuilding your relationship, you’ll need to be able to forgive your partner (or vice versa). Forgiveness is the first part of your healing process. 

The forgiveness aspect of healing involves both people. The person who has been watching porn needs to ask for forgiveness, understanding that it won’t be an easy thing to do. If you’ve been watching porn and don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, there’s no reason for your partner to think you’ll stop. 

If you’re a partner who needs to do the forgiving, then stick to it. Don’t just offer forgiveness with words. If you don’t truly forgive your partner and you harbor bitterness or sadness, you won’t recover the relationship entirely or authentically. 

Rebuild Trust From the Ground Up

If porn has ruined your relationship, the biggest factor is likely a lack of trust. Pornography in a relationship can shatter security and confidence between you, especially if you’ve been watching it behind your partner’s back. 

Once you’ve committed to cut out porn in the relationship, the next step is to rebuild the trust you once had as a couple.

Understand that it won’t be easy, and it may take a long time. 

If your partner’s porn habit has hurt you deeply, then learning to trust and be open to them again will take some effort. Don’t expect it to happen overnight. However, don’t close yourself off to the possibility that you can trust them over time. 

Improve Communication

One way to build trust is for both partners to improve the way you communicate with each other. Communication is a key factor in any successful relationship. But, when pornography has already damaged your connection, communicating becomes even more crucial. 

Communication can help to improve the emotional distance you have from your partner. You can talk about intimacy issues and allow yourself to be vulnerable with one another. 

Opening up your lines of communication may also help you to realize, as a couple, that you could benefit from therapy. 

Individual therapy or couples therapy can help to give you a new perspective on your relationship. You may not feel comfortable opening up to one another even in a private setting because you’re afraid or uncomfortable about the subject matter. Therapy can help by asking the right questions in a safe space, so both people in the relationship actually feel heard. 

Therapy can also help you to address any other underlying issues, including what may have triggered the porn habit. 

Get to the Root With Help From a Therapist

Computer screenIf porn ruined your relationship but you still want to work it out, please contact us.

A pornography problem can be devastating, but it doesn’t have to mean the end of your life together. Let’s work on rebuilding and restoring your connection. Regular therapy sessions can help air out underlying issues and smooth the path forward. Reach out for a consultation soon. Eddins Counseling Group, in Houston, TX  has many experienced couples counselors that can help with many issues affecting your relationship. Call us at 832-323-2355 or book an appointment online.

Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S, CGP on Twitter
Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S, CGP
Rachel’s passion is to help people discover their personal gifts and strengths to achieve self-acceptance, create a healthy relationship with food, mind and body, and find meaning and fulfillment in work and life roles. She helps people create nurturance and healing from within to restore balance and enoughness and overcome binge eating, emotional eating, anxiety, depression and lack of career fulfillment.

Sign up to be notified of group and workshop dates.

Tags:


Comments are closed.