December 24, 2018

What to Do if You Never Feel “Good Enough”

Written by Rachel Eddins

What happens when “good enough” is no longer good enough? In a smartphone/social media universe, even the most mundane, everyday activities become a tacit competition.

As a result, we may start believing that no matter what we do, we can’t measure up.

Who Decides What is “Good Enough”?

On some level, we all realize how futile this quest can be. We can indeed become more than good enough at one venture while remaining a novice in other ways. Hence, the concept of measuring up is incredibly fluid. This alone should persuade us to be more patient with ourselves. But society’s gaze can be relentless especially in a city as large as Houston. Even if we’re not being judged, we can feel judged by a wide range of people, e.g.

  • Parents and Siblings
  • Teachers and Coaches
  • Friends
  • Romantic Partners
  • Bosses and Co-Workers

Then, of course, there’s the Internet. Is there any more pervasive factor for our collective self-esteem…or lack thereof? The smartphone in our pocket is a 24/7 pull toward validation. Our quest for likes, shares, and reactions has warped our inner compass. By social media standards, nothing is ever good enough.

Finding compassion for ourselves doesn’t always come naturally. Take our self-compassion quiz.

Use these tips to help you when you're not feeling "good enough"5 Things to Do if You Never Feel “Good Enough”

1. Practice Gratitude

Instead of waiting for fulfillment, we can and must appreciate the present. Practicing gratitude for what’s “good” now is a realistic option for those seeking inner peace. The desire for future validation (or, at least, avoidance of embarrassment) takes us away from the joys we are living right here and now. Gratitude teaches us new, fluid definitions of success.

2. Take Regular Tech Breaks

The research is in. Our tech obsessions are impacting our mental health in an ugly way. Yes, certainly, there are myriad positives connected to such devices. However, as we all know, there’s far more to life than the perfect selfie. Turn off your phone. Power down your laptop. Bask in the glow of face-to-face interactions. Recharge in the warmth of some solitary daydreaming.

3. Define What Matters to You

No one can ever be good enough at everything. If there is a secret formula for self-esteem, it’s all about following your bliss. Discover what lights you up and aim your focus there. Where you focus goes, your energy will flow. Don’t let anyone else define what matters to you. Make that choice for yourself, stay open to personal evolution, set boundaries with others, and take pride in the victories you experience on your chosen path.

4. Revel in Diversity

When your sink is clogged, you call a plumbing expert. Life is richer — and far more efficient — when we each pursue our own passions. This results in us becoming “good enough” at what matters to us. For everything else, we can happily reach out to whoever chose that life path. This is a key component to community.

5. Learn to Laugh at Yourself

Best of all, enjoy the process. Grasp every opportunity to laugh — especially if you choose to have a chuckle at your own expense.

Seek Perspective From a Professional Guide

Let’s return to a line from above: society’s gaze can be relentless. This reality can neutralize many of our efforts to recognize the good in ourselves. In such cases, it is extremely beneficial to seek help. Working with a therapist is an ideal scenario for a rebuilding perspective. You’ll learn to identify the behavioral trends that serve as obstacles. In addition, you can become more adept at recognizing your strengths. This skill will ground you as you assess yourself.

We do not develop a skewed self-image alone. Many others play a role. In turn, we do not recalibrate that self-image alone. Seeking out a professional guide is always a more than “good enough” choice. At Eddins Counseling Group we have qualified therapists that can help you learn to speak to yourself compassionately and get the most from life. Call us at 832-559-2622 or book an appointment online.

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