Grounding Techniques & Self Soothing for Emotional Regulation
Grounding techniques are a set of tools used to assist you to stay in the present moment during episodes of intense anxiety or other overwhelming emotions. Staying in the present moment allows people to feel safe and in-control by focusing on the physical world and how they experience it.
Grounding techniques are useful when we feel distressed, overwhelmed emotionally, triggered or mentally removed from the present moment.
When stressed, we can get caught up in the thoughts, whether a past difficult experience or interaction or the fear of a future situation happening. Think of the last time you felt caught up in a distressing emotion. Your body may have felt tense, your mind may have been in the past, re-experiencing previous experiences or in the future, worrying about what’s to come. You might even feel afraid or uncomfortable being in your body with distressing emotions and have developed strategies to escape it such as binge eating, drinking or other addictions, sleeping, dissociating.
If you struggle with PTSD or dissociation, you may find it distressing to lose touch with the present moment, particularly if you experience intrusive memories or flashbacks.
Grounding techniques help bring us back into the here and now in a safe way. The more present you are in your body, the calmer and safer you will feel.
How Grounding Works
Grounding is easy to do. Just focus on some aspect of the physical world, rather than on your internal thoughts and feelings (see suggestions below). Focus on the present rather than the past. Practice your grounding techniques so that they will come naturally when you are upset. Let go of any negative feelings. Try a variety of techniques and rate the effectiveness of each technique in keeping you calm. Have others assist you in using these techniques by reminding you to practice them and use them as soon as you are feeling emotionally distressed. Click here to see a demonstration of this technique or go to: http://youtu.be/DFxRs1oFiEE
Here are some suggestions of grounding techniques, but you can make up your own as well.
- Run cool water over your hands.
- Place a cool washcloth on your head/face. (Store a hand towel with lavender essential oil in your refrigerator).
- Grab tightly onto your chair as hard as you can.
- Touch various objects around you: a pen, keys, your clothing, or the wall.
- Dig your heels into the floor-literally “grounding” them! Notice the tension centered in your heels as you do this. Remind yourself you are connected to the ground.
- Carry a grounding object in your pocket, which you can touch whenever you feel triggered.
- Notice your body: the weight of your body in the chair; wiggle your toes in your socks; the feel of your chair against your back…
- Stretch. Roll your head around.
- Clench and release your fists.
- Walk slowly; notice each footstep, saying “left or “right”… in detail to yourself.
- Focus on your breathing, notice each inhale and exhale.
- Eat something, describing the flavors to yourself.
- Focus on your breathing, notice each inhale and exhale
Self Soothing Skills for Emotional Regulation
Self soothing techniques help you calm and relax when you are feeling overwhelmed physically and emotionally.
- Get yourself some hot cocoa, coffee, soda, juice or water. Drink your beverage slowly focusing on the sensations of taste, smell and temperature.
- Wrap in a blanket and rock in a rocking chair.
- Wrap up in a heated blanket or put your clothes/blanket in the dryer to warm up then put them up and relax.
- Take a warm shower or bubble bath.
- Light scented candles or oil.
- Play soothing music.
- Burn essential oils in a diffuser.
- Go out into the warm sun for 15-30 minutes
- Apply a cool washcloth to your face – add lavender essential oil for a calming boost.
- Practice deep breathing or try some of these yoga breathing exercises to shift your mood:
- Listen to calming and soothing music for 10 minutes.
- Play, pet (and walk) a pet for 10 minutes or more.
- Engage in rhythmic activities (knitting, crocheting, biking, swimming, dancing).
Practice Talking to Yourself in a Soothing Way
When stressed, our inner critic is usually loudest. What is needed rather, is a kinder, compassionate and soothing self.
Soothing words of comfort to say to yourself:
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I’m here for you.
I love you.
I know this is a difficult time for you.
You are not alone.
I believe in you.
It’s okay to feel this way, it makes sense to me.
I can understand …
You can count on me.
Coping strategies focused on improving your mood that you can do on your own are sometimes described as self-soothing or self-care coping strategies.
Effective self-soothing coping strategies may be those that involve one or more of the five senses (touch, taste, smell, sight, and sound).
Listed below are examples of self-soothing strategies for each sense. When engaging in these activities, focus your attention completely on the task, that is, with mindfulness.
- Soaking in a warm bath
- Getting a massage
- Relaxing in the warmth of the sun
- Going for a swim
- Changing into comfortable clothes
- Playing with an animal
- Eating a comforting meal
- Sipping herbal tea
- Eating healthy food
- Slowly sucking on hard candy
- Shopping for flowers
- Smelling lavender or vanilla
- Lighting a scented candle
- Deeply breathing in fresh air
- Seeing a funny movie or watching a funny television show
- Reading a good book
- Looking at pictures of loved ones
- Looking at pictures of a past vacation or places that you would like to visit
- Watching the clouds
- Listening to relaxing music
- Singing to yourself
- Saying positive statements to yourself or self-encouragement
- Playing a musical instrument
Releasing Endorphins to Soothe Intense Emotions
If your emotions feel particularly intense, it can be helpful to get some endorphin release to ease the intensity. Try these activities to get a release.
- Run up/down the stairs or the periphery of your house/march in place.
- Do 100 jumping jacks.
- Put on the radio and dance.
- Listen to a funny comedian, watch a funny movie/TV show.
- Read about something that tickles you.
- Hold/stroke and hug a stuffed animal or live pet.
- Hug a pillow, rag doll or tree.
Practice responding to distressing emotional states with grounding techniques and self-soothing strategies. If these are difficult or you need additional help, please contact us. Therapy can help you develop coping strategies, new perspectives and skills for managing difficult emotions.
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy has also been shown to be helpful in learning skills to regulate difficult or distressing emotions. DBT is often taught through skills groups. Find out more about our DBT Therapy Group.
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