Disconnected from Your Partner? Learn How to Reconnect
Gabe and Jenny have been married for three years. They understand and care about each other. They know how to make each other laugh.
Gabe has been going back to school to get his PhD for a few years now, butre lately he feels so consumed by his work that it’s difficult to connect with Jenny’s world. Jenny feels the strain too.
She wonders if she and Gabe have changed too much; are they still the same people they were when they got married?
Drifting apart is rarely dramatic.
Maybe you and your partner are both busy people. Part of what you love about each other is that you know what you want, and you go for it. You’ve been together for a while now, and you still love each other, but you feel more distant than before.
Maybe you’ve started a family. You both work hard to make sure your kids have the best life they can. You love your kids, but you’re exhausted. You catch a glimpse of your partner in the chaos, and feel surprised—who is this person you’re sharing your life with?
If it feels like life’s demands have created growing cracks in your relationship with your partner, don’t panic. It’s normal to get swept up and lose sight of the big stuff—like your marital needs, for example. With a little bit of love and attention, you can repair the damage and feel genuinely connected again.
How exactly can you reconnect?
How you and your partner reconnect will be unique to your relationship. What do you enjoy doing together? What are your individual interests and needs?
Maybe reconnecting means taking a vacation. Maybe it means cooking dinner together. Regardless of how you choose to affirm your relationship, consider a few guidelines for bringing your connection into the forefront of your lives again.
When you’re both racing around the house to get to work on time, or you’re too exhausted to catch up after a long day, the main thing your relationship is missing is dialogue. Talking helps you recognize the distance between you; maybe you’ve been so busy that you and your partner haven’t fully noticed how much things have changed.
· See each other
In the same way that conversation can become stunted when you’ve drifted apart, you
might be taking each other’s presence for granted. Take just a few minutes every day to sit down and share a moment in each other’s company. Be present together.
· Make an effort
When your partner sees you making an effort to reconnect, he will likely reciprocate. You don’t have to be a relationship expert; it’s more important to put in the time it takes to rebuild. Show your partner how much your relationship means to you. Making an effort can mean anything from flashes of affection to loving notes left around the house.
It can feel really lonely to be in a relationship where your efforts to initiate contact aren’t really landing. When the lines of communication are compromised, you can open them back up by letting your partner know you’re truly hearing him. How is he feeling about your relationship? Are there specific issues you need to work on together? Hearing each other is important because it shows that you’re still open to one another.
· Clarify your own needs
Part of the pain of drifting apart is feeling alone with your needs. Don’t be afraid to let your partner know what you need to feel loved and safe. He might not be able to recognize on his own the things you feel have been missing.
Relationship Counseling Can Help You Get Back on Track
Relationship counseling in Houston can be an excellent way to work through communication difficulties and other differences before problems become more serious. We strongly recommend exploring relationship counseling as a preventative issue vs. waiting until problems have become larger and more serious. Read more about our relationship counseling services.
Don’t wait one more day! To get started now give us a call to schedule an appointment at 832-559-2622 or schedule an appointment online.
The Marriage Refresher Course Workbook for Couples provides an opportunity for you and your spouse to benefit from learning the basics of strong, connected marriages, no matter how long you’ve been married. If marriage disconnection is an issue for you, this can be a helpful tool to get you back on track together. This can be a great resource to bring in with you to couples therapy. Click here to view more details.
The Premarital Counseling Workbook for Couples is designed to help you embark on marriage with a strong relationship skill set. We encourage you to strengthen your relationship foundation BEFORE you tie the knot – to pack your toolbox for the inherent ups and downs of life. This can provide insight for discussion in premarital counseling. Click here to view more details.
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